Never Without You
by CTUdessler
Summary: What's it like to leave a life behind only to be pulled back? Season 4 from Tony Almeida's point of view. TM
1. Remembering

**AN: **Well, here goes my first 24 fic. This will be very much Tony/Michelle ... it will follow season four from Tony's point of view. If you want, consider this a prologue because it is shorter than any other chapter - only 15 minutes instead of an hour. Hope you enjoy!

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 1 – To Remember**

**1:45 – 2:00 PM**

1:45:00

Tony Almeida pulled open the refrigerator, grabbed a beer, popped it open, and sat back on the couch all in one lazy motion. However, his mind was not on the shrieks of the soccer game that were filtering through the speakers of his TV. He was much more focused on an incident earlier that day that had him bothered.

It wasn't a very big incident. It didn't even come close to the magnitude of some of the other things that had happened today. After all, he did like to keep up to date with what was happening with national security (probably a result of being Director of CTU for three years). He knew the Secretary of Defense Heller and his daughter were kidnapped earlier today. That did not particularly bother him. He happened to know that Jack Bauer was on that case and that was enough to reassure him of any worries there.

No, the incident that was worrying Tony Almeida was much more simple and less life changing. It was simply another event in a chain of events that were all attempting to force him to realize something he did not want to admit.

The actual event in question had occurred when he woke up. He had awoken with his arm slung around a woman, her curled against him, and her hair in his mouth.

It was this last that was the real cause of the issue. He had been catapulted back in time with those strands of hair to a year and a half ago. Before the virus. When it had been Michelle he was waking up next to with her curly hair perpetually in his mouth.

Damn it. It had been six months since he had last seen her! He gulped some beer. Six months should have been more than enough time to get over Michelle. More than enough time to stop mistaking his girlfriend for his wife. Ex-wife. He finished off the can of beer but refrained from getting another.

The problem with this incident was not necessarily that he had mistaken Jen for Michelle though. That was a logical mistake. After all, he had only been sleeping with Jen for a matter of months and he had spent years with Michelle.

The problem was that when he had woken up and thought Michelle was in his arms, he had experienced a moment of pure bliss that was only comparable to times before the virus. What had happened to getting over her? Hadn't she ruined his life enough?

The thought made him feel guilty immediately. She hadn't asked him to become a traitor for her. She hadn't asked him to turn to the bottle for comfort. She had tried to help and he had refused her. He closed his eyes and pushed the memories away with a grimace.

As he opened his eyes, he saw Jen come out of their bedroom and sit down next to him. Her hand slid up his arm seductively but he ignored her, focusing on the game and pretending he didn't wish she were Michelle. Jen slumped next to him, rolling her eyes at his aloof behavior. It looked like she was about to say something when the phone rang.

Saved by a call. Tony let it ring three times before picking it up and answering with an impatient, "Yeah?"

It had taken five months after prison to stop from answering the phone with a business-like, "Almeida" and even now he had to discipline himself to prevent from slipping. It was so easy to slip back to what had been.

As though to prove this, it took three words to launch him back to that life he was trying to forget. "Tony? It's Jack."

His first reaction was an insane urge to laugh. As though he didn't recognize Jack Bauer's voice. As though they hadn't worked together for so many years. As though Jack wasn't one of the only people Tony truly trusted. As though … as though they were back at CTU getting through another of those days. The last thought filtered through slowly and Tony frowned at it, wondering what had brought it on.

"Tony?" Jack repeated, urgently. And Tony knew what had inspired him to think back to those days. It was the stress in Jack's voice. The rushed pressure they both knew so well. He closed his eyes and, for an instant, felt like he could turn around and direct Chloe to bring up satellite images and order Adam to leave him alone before turning to Michelle for some much needed emotional support. Like he could send in attack teams to help out Jack, turn around briefly and see all those familiar faces at CTU. He shook his head impatiently and the memories evaporated like the unsubstantial mist they had become.

"Yeah?" Tony repeated. He would never admit that his voice had broken. The memories longed to pour out, wanted release somehow. "What do you want Jack?"

"Help."

"Help." Tony repeated blankly.

"We're surrounded by the hostiles that tried to kidnap Heller and his daughter earlier today. Actually, I'm with Audrey Raines right now." Jack continued, "I need back-up."

"What do you want _me_ to do Jack? I can't exactly order in an attack team anymore …"

"I know that. I thought you could come."

"Why are you calling me?" Tony asked. He didn't want to go. Didn't want to be drawn back into that world. "Aren't you working for the Secretary now? Can't you call in someone over there?"

"No, they don't have anyone trained in Field Ops."

"Then what are you doing in the field, Jack? That's not part of your job."

Jack sighed, knowing Tony wouldn't be happy with this next bit. "I'm actually currently helping out at CTU."

Tony had known subconsciously. Jack was always drawn back to CTU. He couldn't escape it. Tony was resolute; he would not go back there. "So why aren't you calling them?" His voice was cold.

"They are compromised. You're the only person I can trust, Tony."

Tony closed his eyes. He couldn't refuse. Jack had saved his life too many times, not least of which was getting him a presidential pardon for treason charges. "I don't want to hear the details. Where are you?"

"Felsted Security. Do you –"

"I know where it is. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Jack hesitated on the other end before saying, "It's good to hear your voice again, Tony."

In a moment that had become rare lately, Tony was absolutely honest when he said, "You too, Jack."

Then he hung up the phone with an unexpected reluctance. He didn't want to lose this newfound connection to the past. Shocking, but the memories felt good after being suppressed for so long.

He turned to Jen who was looking at him curiously. Not surprising. She didn't know much about his past. He had seen no reason to tell her, didn't want her to know. That hadn't changed with this new development. He didn't have to make excuses to her, didn't have to explain himself. That was why he was in this relationship, because she didn't ask for anything emotional. He kept it brief. "I have to go. I'll be back later."

"Sure," she replied, annoyed with him now. Tony found that he didn't really care.

He turned to go into their bedroom and changed into the first set of clothes he could find. Then he stopped and bit his lip. He lost the speed he had had while dressing as he pulled down a box from the very top of their closet. He pulled off the beat-up lid and stared at the gun inside.

Jack had given it to him after he had been pardoned. Technically it was illegal for him to own a gun, but it wasn't like Jack or he cared for the law much by that point.

That had been the last time he had seen Jack. There at the federal prison with a pardon signed by President Palmer and this gun. "Just in case," he had said, "because you never know when the next crisis will be. And they'll need you. They always do."

He had thrown it in here … or perhaps Michelle had. Those months after his release from prison were muddled and clouded by drink and misery. And now … he picked it up with an odd reverence. This was tangible. This was real, a real connection to what seemed like another life. He hefted the gun and an unexpected smile came to his lips. Though it was more of a smirk, it was the closest he had come to a smile in a long time.

Tony shoved the gun half in a pocket and covered it with his shirt before walking out. He passed a mirror and looked at himself curiously. Strange. He had a glow, a purpose in his eyes and his gait. There was something there that had been missing since he had been fired from CTU. This was what he lived for.

And with the thought, he left the house and got into his car. Felsted Security …

1:56:46

Tony ran. The adrenaline surged with a wildly familiar fear. He could hear gunshots.

He allowed himself a brief moment to wonder what in the world Jack had gotten himself into before pushing on. He could see the open garage now. There was silence, and he prayed he wasn't too late.

He turned in the open door and reacted to the sight of about five hostiles without direction from his conscious self. He opened fire with an accuracy that, though rusty, was deadly.

The rush of power filled him as the gun recoiled in his hands and he fired again to take out the last hostile. It felt odd while completely natural for him to yell out, "Jack!"

"Tony!" Was the response in Jack's familiar voice.

Good. Tony was filled with a pleasant sensation he hadn't had since the virus, the feeling one got after saving someone else's life. Then he shoved it away bitterly. This same CTU he kept thinking of with such nostalgia was the same place that had ripped his life apart. That had torn him away from Michelle.

He faced Jack with that thought in his head. He managed to keep from showing much emotion at seeing Jack again and faced his introduction to Audrey Raines with the bitter sentiments still flowing though. Audrey looked at him curiously and looked at Jack as though for confirmation of something.

Tony could tell Jack had told her about him and wondered what Jack had said. Had Jack spoken about Michelle? About how his life had fallen apart?

Pushing away the questions, Tony interrupted their silent looks to say, "We need to go. They might have backup somewhere."

Jack looked at him and nodded, though there was something stilted about it all. Too much baggage. Too much they couldn't talk about because they didn't know how to begin. Tony could tell Jack wanted to talk about Michelle, but couldn't broach the subject. There was too much history that had been forgotten for too long.

Tony led them to his car, unlocking the door manually and letting them in. It didn't particularly matter to him what they thought of his battered, dusty car. Or at least he told himself that.

Jack offered Audrey the front seat, which caused Tony to raise an eyebrow, though he knew better than to intrude by asking. He remembered Kate Warner before deciding it was none of his business and that he didn't really care anyway.

He pulled away from Felsted Security as Jack took out his cell phone and pressed one number, speed dial probably. Tony turned his attention to Audrey and felt a flash of sympathy when he saw a tear roll down her cheek. Days like this had a tendency to overwhelm, especially when you aren't used to them.

He had a flash of memory back to so many years ago when Michelle was undergoing her first day like this at CTU. When she had ended up crying on his shoulder after her brother was sedated. When she had said she couldn't go on. And then when she had kissed him …

He shut off the line of thought. No. No more memories. He was going to stop dwelling on the past and forget the memories.

Tony might have turned the car around and left right then if he had known how many memories this day was going to bring back.

2:00:00

**AN:** Please review just to tell me what you thought! Updates should be along pretty soon.


	2. Trying for Apathy

**A/N:** I am so sorry this took so long to get up, but I've been on vacation. Now, as a present to you all for your wonderful reviews and patience, I present you with two chapters and another coming up within the next few days. From now on, my posts should be fairly regular and I'll tell you if that changes. Sorry again and I hope you enjoy! This thing has been fabulously fun to write and basically kept me alive during my sojourn away from civilization with only my laptop with no internet connection. Send me your feedback please!

**Disclaimer:** I forgot to do this for the first chapter so consider this a disclaimer for that too. I do not own 24 or any of the characters, situations, or lines you recognize. I do this purely for fun and to exercise my writing. Enjoy!

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 2 – Trying for Apathy**

**2:00 – 3:00 PM**

**2:03:00**

Tony drove the car in silence, trying desperately to block out the sounds of Jack's phone call in the back seat. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want to get involved.

He couldn't help it though, and listened intently to the one-sided conversation that seemed to be about finding a mole in CTU. Jack had slipped back into the old life so easily.

Jack hung up and for a second, Tony found the silence in the car unbelievably awkward. Then Jack leaned forward and put a hand on Audrey's shoulder, comforting her. "Are you okay?"

Jack's soft tone made Tony feel like he was intruding. He brushed it off and tried to pretend he was the only one in the car. Of course, as soon as he accomplished this, Jack had to go and talk to him.

"Tony, is it possible that we could have been followed?"

Tony felt a brief surge of irritation. They had worked together for so many years; didn't Jack trust him with something so menial? Then he soothed himself. This was Jack: this was that he was like. He checked his mirror just to be sure before replying, "No, we're clear." His tone was brisk, clearly getting the point across that he didn't want to be here.

Audrey was the one who asked the question Tony was about to. "Where are we going?"

Jack's response wasn't unexpected. Tony had the feeling … knew it as soon as he had answered the phone to Jack's voice. "We need to lay low for a while."

Tony's response was automatic, grudging. "What kind of communication do you need?"

Jack's answer was quick and expectant. "A wi-fi and a hard line."

"All right. We'll go back to my place." The invitation was necessary, as though there was no other choice. This was how it was going to play out.

"Okay. Thank you Tony." The honest gratefulness in Jack's voice was almost enough to make Tony want to be able to do more for them. The feeling was shoved away, unwanted. They both knew that Tony was far too indebted to Jack to do anything else and that he would have refused if he hadn't felt as though there was no other option. The spiral back to the old life was slow – kept you unsuspecting until it was too late. And Tony was getting an ominous sense that it had been too late to turn back the minute he picked up that phone.

"Wait until you see it before you thank me." The reply was cutting, but Tony had never planned to take Jack to the house he had been living in for the past six months. Somehow, merging his old and new lives seemed incredibly wrong. His old life was too good to mix with this new, tainted one.

Jack looked at him oddly. "No, I mean for picking us up. For saving our lives. I'm sure you want to know what's going on."

But what choice had he had in saving them? Knowing what was going on though … Jack was appealing to the former Tony Almeida. The one prior to federal prison. Prior to the divorce.

"Not really, no." He had the unsatisfying pleasure of seeing Jack Bauer semi-surprised.

"Something wrong?" The question was asked as though Jack had no idea.

"What could be wrong? I'm not in federal prison anymore thanks to you and President Palmer. Michelle left me, I …" The statement left a bitter taste in his mouth. The entire response bringing him closer to breaking down than he had been since the very beginning. He knew that Jack already knew about the divorce. He himself hadn't talked to him about it but Jack was working at DOD with Michelle and he had to have run into her … still, Jack was the first person he had told that truly understood the entire story.

The knowledge that he was going to know everything whether he wanted to or not struck fast and hard. "You know what? Never mind. Why don't you tell me what this is all about."

Jack didn't seem surprised at all by this. Tony was thankful that Jack knew him well enough to not question his brief rant there. It needed to come out to someone who knew what he was talking about. "You heard about Audrey and her father this morning?"

Tony noted the way Jack seemed to caress Audrey's name before releasing an impatient, "Yeah."

"We were at Felsted Security so that Audrey could make an ID of a man she saw during the kidnapping." Tony took a moment to savor the swift, business-like tone of Jack's words. He had heard the tone thousands of times before at CTU with Jack and hearing it again was like coming home.

"I don't get it. Why?"

"The secretary's kidnapping was just a cover. The terrorist's main objective is to gain control of America's nuclear power plants from coast to coast. The man that Audrey saw – that's our only lead."

Tony's lack of any security clearance at all, especially to such classified information didn't bother either of them. After all, Jack could trust Tony much more than he trusted most of the high level CTU employees.

But the "our only lead" part set off an alarm in Tony's mind. "I thought you weren't in the field anymore Jack." Heroin addiction wasn't usually the best characteristic in an employee.

"I'm not." It sounded defensive. "The Secretary is my responsibility. I got caught up in it." Didn't he always?

"Yeah, well, listen to me very carefully: I don't want to get caught up in it. So do whatever you need to do at my place. I'm staying out of it, all right?"

Tony had a suspicion that he wouldn't be able to run away again if he was pulled back.

Jack sounded humbled when he replied. Like he truly knew what Tony was feeling. Knew how Tony had been so badly burned by CTU. "Understood."

The rest of the drive passed in silence, Tony wishing he could be as sure as he sounded that he wasn't going to get caught up in it.

**2:16:43**

Strangely, Tony found he didn't care about Jack and Audrey's reactions when he pulled up in front of the junk heap he called home. He had seen Jack in worse after Teri's death. "Watch your step," he called back to them, walking through the dead grass and concrete of the driveway, "the neighbor's dog likes our yard."

He was unlocking the door when he remembered Jen. He hoped fervently that she had already left for work like she said. Somehow, introducing her to Jack would be worse than anything. Knowing that he would be comparing her to Michelle.

_She'll be gone_, he told himself. "Here we are. Home sweet home." The sarcasm was bitter and obvious.

Jack's response was expected. "Just stay here," directed at Audrey and then he was off to check the house with gun ready. Tony watched him, rubbing the side of his face as Jack's familiar paranoia amused and worried him.

When the door to his bedroom swung open. Tony knew what was going to happen only an instant before it happened and he cringed. Jack pulled his gun and aimed it straight at Jen who shrieked, "Oh god! Who the hell are you?"

Tony choose to reply to Jack's unstated question rather than Jen's. "Hey, Jack, it's okay. This is my friend Jen."

He saw in the momentarily raised eyebrows that Jack wasn't buying the friend story. Then again, he wouldn't either if there was some girl in a nearly sheer shirt walking around in Jack's bedroom.

"Tell him to play with his guns outside." Jen's harsh personality made Tony want to turn the TV on loud and hide from Jack's reaction to his attempts to make a life without Michelle.

"I'm sorry. Excuse me." As Jack walked back, his last apology was directed at Tony. "I'm sorry." Jack seemed too preoccupied with pulling a gun on an innocent to judge Tony's lifestyle. Still, he would much rather Jack had left without meeting Jen. Thinking of that …

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asked harshly. "I thought you were working." Yeah, someone had to and betraying your country doesn't look too good on a résumé.

"I'm going in late." Jen shrugged it off. Tony cursed mentally, _for the third time this week_, before deciding he didn't care.

"This is Jack and his friend Audrey." After all, Jack hadn't actually told him they were dating though you could see it in everything they did. All using the euphemism really did though was draw attention to his earlier use of it in reference to Jen.

Jack's "hi" made Tony wince slightly. Now he was sure it had sunk in with Jack that Jen was living with him.

"I saw you on TV today. You're the daughter of the Secretary of Defense. You and your old man were kidnapped this morning." Tony's wince became more pronounced. Damn it. Couldn't she keep her nose out of his business?

Audrey replied with a simple, "Yeah."

"What are they doing here?" Jen was ignoring Jack and Audrey again.

"I'm helping them out with something." Deliberately vague. Of course, Jen couldn't do the polite thing and change the topic.

"Could you be a little more specific?"

Having Jack here was making Tony compare Jen to Michelle even more than usual. Jen seemed to come up lacking in every way. Tony didn't know what to say now, change the topic or was it all right to tell her something to make her go away?

Jack made the choice for him. "We need to use Tony's computer."

"What they don't have computers where you work?"

The sarcastically biting comment made Tony crack a little. "Listen, we have a situation here all right? They need to lay low for a little bit. We can't let anybody know they're here, all right?" Not that Jack would ever let her have the chance to tell anyone.

"Whatever, I'm leaving anyway." As she made her way to the exit, Tony knew what Jack was going to say before he said it.

"Tony," and Tony knew what had to happen.

"Jen, you can't go anywhere." He wasn't looking forward to this fight, especially in front of Jack and Audrey.

"Why not?" It was defensive and exactly what he had expected.

"We can't leave until Jack and Audrey take off. We can't take a chance." It was just about the most basic protocol there was.

"What kind of chance? I work at a bar." Tony sighed. She had no idea what was going on. Come to think of it, he barely did either but he knew it had to be pretty big for Jack to be back in the field again. Besides, nuclear power plants and overrides were never good in combination with terrorists.

Jack replied, "I'm sorry Jen. We're not going to be long."

Jen's voice was disdainful, "Look, stay as long as you want. I have a job. He doesn't."

It still hurt when she said it even though Tony had accepted the fact that no workplace wanted a convicted traitor a while ago. He hated the way it still got to him. Hated how not having a job made him feel so useless. Hated the way she used it against him, not knowing or not caring how much it hurt. Hated the way that very fact had played a significant part in tearing him away from Michelle.

Audrey spoke when she realized neither of the men were going to. "Jen, can I talk to you for a second? Please."

As the girls walked away, Tony and Jack were left standing side by side awkward again. He felt like he had right at the beginning of playing Director of CTU to Jack's Director of Field Ops. He hadn't known how to act with Jack around and no crisis to panic about with so much unresolved baggage between them.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't quite sure what for, everything really. But Jack took it as an apology for Jen's behavior.

"No, she seems sweet." Ouch. That hurt. Michelle's name lay unspoken on both of their lips. Both were grateful when Audrey came back and Jen left for the living room area.

"How are you guys making out?" She asked cheerfully.

"Good. I just have to convert this so I can read it. Hopefully you can make an ID from the surveillance video."

Tony racked his brain before saying, "I have software for that. I'm going to dig it out."

He turned away and began rifling through a dusty box on the bottom shelf of his bookcase. Most of this stuff he hadn't touched in ages. Before CTU even. He noticed about then that Audrey and Jack were whispering behind him. Years of fighting terrorism and plain curiosity forced him to listen when he heard his name. However, they were talking quietly enough that all he could hear was his own name and then Michelle's.

Tony stilled for a moment, biting his lip and closing his eyes against the quick shiver of pain he got at the mention of their names juxtaposed. Then he continued searching before pulling the software out and walking back over.

"All right, here we go."

"You got it Tony?" The warmth of Jack's voice at least assured him that they hadn't been talking too badly about him.

Tony watched over Jack's shoulder as they opened the software and let out a silent sigh as Jack said, "We're in."

They scrolled through the surveillance videos, leaving Tony watching and feeling useless. Thankful, Audrey recognized the man they were looking for quickly.

"I remember this lady. It was around here. There he is." Tony eyed the man with a distant look, memorizing his face more by instinct than design.

Jack was determined to get it right. "Are you sure that's him?" But even as he said it and Audrey assured him it was he was reaching for the phone. "I'm going to route this to the DC office."

Tony didn't smile, but was close again. That sounded so familiar, like the old days. Then he was stopped by Jack's resigned voice. "Tony, she's on the phone. She can't be making calls."

_Perfect_, ran through Tony's mind. Of course, Jen would do everything there was to annoy Jack even if it wasn't intentional. It seemed appropriate that his old and new lives would clash.

He slumped into the other room bitterly and said quietly, trying to cause as little exhibition of their relationship as possible to Jack and Audrey, "Jen, give me the phone."

Unluckily, Jen wasn't exactly the best person to put under house arrest. "What, I can't go to work, now I can't talk on the phone?"

He winced. Ah, more proof of the dysfunctional nature of this relationship. Finally he closed his eyes and set his will, what did he care if Jack thought that he was being an idiot? Jack had done worse, hadn't he?

"Just give me the phone." Nice and rational.

"Go to hell." Or not …

"Give me the damn phone!" He yelled, deciding that Jack would rather he do what he was supposed than do it peacefully.

"Fine!"

He walked out, phone in hand and tossed it to Jack. "Go ahead." He said, ignoring the curious look he was getting from Audrey. Jack didn't seem to notice there was anything wrong which was fine with Tony whether it was an act or not. "Thanks." It was brief while Jack picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory.

Tony watched the image on the screen as Jack talked to his DOD contact, trying to figure out the chance of identifying the man. It was a decent picture, which meant there was a good chance they would have results back before the hour was up. Then Jack would be off to follow up on the new lead and would be back out of Tony's life.

Somehow, the thought lacked the relief he had figured would accompany it.

Jack began scrolling through the surveillance from later in the night. He had to know that it was a crazy chance, but Tony knew Jack. He had to do something to keep himself occupied while waiting on the image.

Audrey had sunk down in his couch, reclining. Tony found himself wishing he could be so comfortable right now. He walked over to the refrigerator, needing a little bit of calm and getting it by pulling out a beer.

"Anybody want a beer?" He asked, knowing that it was early afternoon and not the ordinary time that most people would start drinking.

Audrey replied, "I could use one." The answer didn't surprise him after all the hell she had been through today and he tossed her a bottle.

Jack's look caught him guiltily. The look that yelled, "What are you doing to yourself?" It was the same kind of look Michelle had given him early on, when he had first started drinking away the pain. It made him want to put the bottle back, but he didn't. Instead he pulled out the same Cub's mug he had owned forever and poured the beer in, pondering over why the mug didn't give him the same sense of flashback that the rest of today had.

He flicked on the TV with a practiced move, back to his Spanish football. Without looking over, he knew that Jack had given him another concerned glance.

Jack was on the phone again, with Secretary Heller. They were talking about the CTU mole, apparently they had found out who it was. Tony was unconcerned until Jack started talking about sending people to pick up Audrey. Some odd sense of sadism wanted to listen to what Jack had to say about where they were.

"We're at 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood." Then a pause. Jack looked up at Tony before saying, "A friend."

He felt an odd flush of good feeling at those words. It took a lot to be called Jack Bauer's friend. Especially after everything that had happened this past year and a half. Of course, the emotion had been savagely suppressed by the time Jack walked over to him.

They could both tell that this was coming. They had to talk at some point and it looked like Jack was leaving soon. Tony didn't bother getting up when Jack flicked the TV off.

"Don't you think you've made me miss enough TV today Jack?" Tony asked. Sure, the conversation had to happen, but that didn't mean he was going willingly.

Jack ignored his comment and sat on the coffee table in front of him. His eyes were sincere and sad. "Why didn't you ever call me?"

He had thought about doing so. Not particularly long or hard though. Sure, they were friends. Jack was probably the closest person to him after Michelle had … still. It was a sense of pride, and of hopelessness. All Jack would try to do would be to save him like Michelle had tried. And Jack would never have been able to make a difference.

"For what?"

"I've been there. I could have helped." Tony grimaced in pain. Now they really were talking about Michelle. Somehow, connecting her to Jack's dead wife seemed awful though. Michelle was alive; she had left by her own choice. And at the same time, comparing her to Teri Bauer made it feel so final. As though there really was no more hope.

"I'm considered a traitor to this country." His voice was hoarse and slightly broken, "My wife left me." He couldn't bring himself to say Michelle's name just now. "So how are you going to help me, huh, Jack?"

Jack withdrew quickly, "Yeah." He accepted Tony's attempts to escape from everything but Tony had to continue. Had to make this clear even though he wasn't sure whether he was clarifying it to Jack or himself.

"Look, I owed you for getting me out of prison. But today I repaid that debt. To tell the truth, all you do is remind me of a past I'd rather forget. So, why don't you do me a favor? Do what you have to here and let's leave it at that, all right?"

Jack looked pained, but said, "yeah," and stood up, flicking on the TV again. Tony took another swig of beer, but it couldn't burn away the memories the conversation had dredged up.

It is said that actions speak louder than words though. And Tony gave lie to his entire position during his speech to Jack with one, longing look away from the TV and back towards Jack. A look that wanted his old life back so much, and admitted that this new life was all about trying to forget how much better it had been. How it could never be that good again.

Jack's cell phone rang, allowing Tony a brief respite from thinking about the past. Tony managed to gather that they had identified the suspect before he heard a car stopping in front of the house. Using a bit of CTU training, he peered through the blinds from the side, making it impossible for anyone outside to see him. Luckily, it was just secret service picking up Audrey.

"Jack, they're here." He was rather proud of the way none of the earlier emotion showed in his voice.

Jack hung up after another couple of brief moments, telling Audrey to get her things together in preparation for their departure. A sense of impending loss enveloped him, surprising him with the intensity with which he didn't want them to leave him alone here again.

He had a sense that it wouldn't be enough again. This reminder of so much more was making him feel that this new life could never measure up.

He watched nostalgically as Jack and Audrey kissed outside, wishing … wishing foolishly.

Jack walked back inside on his phone again. Tony listened cautiously.

"He's trying to leave the city. I've got to get to Van Nuys."

"No, I want to keep a low profile, I don't want to spook him."

"That's going to be too long."

"Less than 15 minutes."

"He'll most likely be on his own. I'm going to have to try to handle this myself." The warning bells went off there. Tony knew Jack, knew he probably could handle whatever it was himself, but at the same time, knew that handling things himself tended to get Jack in a lot of trouble.

"I'll be in touch." And Jack hung up. Tony couldn't help himself.

"What are you going to try to handle by yourself?" The question seemed to surprise Jack because he shrugged it off only after letting a surprised look slip through.

"Don't worry about it, it's covered." That didn't reassure him at all. There wasn't anyone at CTU that Jack trusted obviously, or he would have called him or her about the mole instead of Secretary Heller. Being out in the field with no back up that could be trusted was a bad idea.

He used the easiest excuse. "Jack, it would be pretty stupid of me to let you die right after I risk my life trying to save you." Suddenly he felt self-conscious as he asked, "Could you use my help?" The answer to that question held everything in the balance.

Their eyes met and their shared pasts flashed through their minds before Jack answered the question honestly. "Yeah."

"All right, let's go." He pulled on his jacket with a sense of suspended reality. It was when he grabbed his gun that it registered, he was really going out in the field with Jack again. That smile that had been so close to the surface since Jack had called threatened to spill over again.

It wasn't until he was about to close the door that he saw Jen. He had completely forgotten about her. Their eyes met, but all it served to do was convince Tony that all she had been was an escape. He closed the door before either of them could say anything. And he was on his way back to his old life.

**2:54:25**

Tony and Jack had lapsed into silence after Jack had filled him in on Henry Powell, the man they were going after. As they sped through the streets, Tony asked, awkwardly, "What's it like to be back at CTU again?"

Jack shrugged, concentrating on driving. "Hell. But isn't it always?"

Tony closed his eyes, knowing the question was rhetorical. "Yeah … how have things been?" He would resort to anything to fill the awkward silence.

Jack looked over at him, shrugged, and concentrated back on driving. "Not horrible. I haven't really spoken much to Kim … not at all to Chase." His voice sounded oddly pained. "It's … not CTU."

Tony dropped the subject and they sat in silence as Jack sped across the roads, probably breaking quite a few speed limits on the way. Then Jack unexpectedly started up a conversation. "I'm sorry." At Tony's blank look, he elaborated. "If this brings you back to CTU. You didn't want to be involved but I know how these things go."

_Oh, no._ It hadn't really occurred to him when he had offered to help Jack out, but was it even possible for him to detangle himself from the mission now? No, if this was truly important, something he didn't doubt, he would be dragged to a debriefing. And since this was a CTU mission …

Was it possible for him to be able to handle returning to the place that had destroyed him? He blew out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Yeah." He said, vaguely.

Jack glanced over, concerned, but evidently found something that discouraged further conversation in Tony's eyes because he turned his head back to the road and swerved to pass a car that was apparently going too slowly.

Tony rubbed the side of his face, but was distracted from further mental burdening by Jack's classic, "Damn it!" and the whir of helicopter blades beating the air. He grabbed on to the side of the car just before Jack turned sharply, dipping into a ditch before squealing to a halt on the pavement in front of the helicopter.

Jack and Tony were too good to require strategy discussion. They pulled out guns, popped open their car doors and ran out, ignoring the wind that ripped up from the blades that were spinning faster. Jack took the passenger's side, Tony the pilot's and both circled around, yelling, "Bring it down!" as soon as they were close enough.

Of course, both realized it was an exercise in futility as soon as they saw the gun Powell was holding to the pilot's side. Powell's bullet was a lot more pressing than theirs, if only by proximity. Luckily, Tony knew the procedure.

He came around to the pilot's door and ordered, "Put your hands up and don't shoot!" He felt a flash of sympathy for the pilot, who looked torn between the two guns before seeing Jack open the passenger door.

"Drop the weapon, now!" Powell's life was apparently more important to him than his escape. He put his hands up and was thrown to the ground by Jack, who was feeling rather unsympathetic to the man.

Tony assisted the pilot who was understandably frightened out of his wits. "Step out. Shut down the engine. Get out. Now."

He only put his gun away once the pilot was seated passively and he had grabbed the bag he found in the helicopter. He watched Jack from a distance as he searched Powell before reassuring the pilot with words even he didn't recall.

His walk over to Jack was flavored with a leftover adrenaline and the addictive flush of a successful mission. Jack brandished a small object, yelling, "I got his cell phone. Bring me the bag."

Tony handed the bag over to Jack to search as he kept walking to reach Powell cuffed and against the car. He looked just like the pictures in the surveillance video except he was looking a little worse for the wear. He managed to pant out, "Who are you guys? The police? FBI?"

Tony eyed him for a minute before finding a kind of cruel irony in his answer. "Actually, I'm currently unemployed."

Pity that he was that Powell had no idea of the humor in that statement, it was the first joke he could remember making since the virus. Of course, it was ruined by Powell's desperate plea, "I'll make it worth your while."

"Put him in the back." Jack ordered.

Tony began trying to move the man. "Come on."

That was when the fragile calm was torn apart by a bullet that landed directly in Powell's chest. The accuracy unmistakably meant it was from a sniper and Tony let out a shudder. Jack and he would have been dead at any point if that unknown sniper had wanted them so.

Tony rushed over to Powell in a crouch and tested for a pulse with experienced accuracy. "He's dead, Jack." He had to say, looking up at Jack Bauer and feeling every inch of the lost lead.

"Damn it!"

**3:00:00**

**A/N:** Once again thank you so much for all the awesome reviews and I hope you enjoyed this as much as you liked the first chapter. The third should be up momentarily!


	3. Rejoining the Fight

**A/N:** Just as promised, the third chapter. Expect the fourth chapter ... hey, why not tomorrow, just to show you guys the whole huge wait won't be happening again.Enjoy, and remember my only payment is reviews, so I'd love some!

**Disclaimer:** 24 belongs to Fox, not me! All lines, characters, and situations you recognize are not mine.

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 3 – Rejoining the Fight**

**3:00 – 4:00 PM**

**3:04:00**

Tony watched the pilot of the helicopter, hoping for a lead found in Powell's cell phone or bag. Jack flipped through the dead man's cell phone, presumably recent calls before opening his own cell phone and tapping in a number from memory.

He watched absently as Jack called someone from where he stood by the car, presumably CTU. Driscoll had been sending back up for Jack in the vain hope that they would get there in time to be any help. When CTU backup got there … well, Jack certainly wouldn't need him anymore. He felt a pang of loss before he tamped it down violently.

There was nothing for him in this life. He had given this lifestyle everything and gotten nothing back but pain. Of course, there was a voice in his head that whispered to him that this job had given him the best years of his life, but his current pain drowned it out.

Sure, life with Michelle had been beautiful, but really it only served to make everything else look ugly. Once one has seen paradise, can anything else compare?

Somehow though, he had managed to forget. To convince himself that he was imagining how wonderful it had been. Now though, with that same adrenaline rushing through his body, with CTU a phone call away, in the field with Jack Bauer by his side, it was impossible to fool himself.

At least he hadn't seen Michelle again. There was an insinuating voice that whispered the evil thought in his head, _yet._

That was crushed with an even more fervently violent insistence. Ridiculous.

A car driving up by the heliport served as adequate distraction. "Here's the back up." He said, talking to the pilot.

Jack's cell phone rang but he took the call and hung up as he walked over to one of the CTU agents. Tony watched with foreboding as he conferred briefly with the agent and walked back towards Tony. "Come on Tony, we have to go."

But Tony was suddenly feeling an odd reluctance, the antithesis to his earlier worry about having to leave. Now that he was facing this point of no return, the found himself struck with fear and memory. This life had pulled him apart so viciously last time, why would he want to go back?

"Look, Jack, uh, I think I'm done here today." He tried to phrase it so it didn't sound as though he was running away. It didn't work.

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, not understanding.

"CTU back up's here. You don't need me anymore." The adamant words carried little power when backed by his tone, which sounded lost.

Jack seemed exasperated. "I need you to see this through with me."

Yeah, right. Like Jack needed a former agent who had been arrested for treason and hadn't been in the field for a year and a half. He dismissed the other reasons he didn't want to come and focused on the fact that he wouldn't be useful. "I appreciate the sentiment, Jack, but you don't need to prop up my ego."

In retrospect, it was lucky that Jack knew Tony well enough to know how to deal with this. "Tony, this isn't about you. If we don't find the override device within the hour, we're going to have six major nuclear disasters. So please, get in the car. Let's go." And he walked off, heading for the car.

Well, what choice did he have? He had known that this could happen when he had volunteered to help out. Now … it was no longer his choice but his duty, his responsibility. Then again, perhaps it always had been. Perhaps when he started looking at it that way, he had never had a choice in this matter. If that was true then he might as well give up the fight. _After all_, he thought glancing at Jack's retreating back, _I already know that I'm going to go._

He followed after, feeling a confused mixture of relief at having decided and dread at what could come of this decision.

**3:18:53**

The drive had been silent, but that wasn't unexpected. They were both tense with worry and adrenaline and the ride had dragged on. When they finally reached the hotel, Tony let out a quiet sigh of relief.

A funny feeling passed over him as he noticed the back up that was waiting for them. Like so much of the past couple of hours, it was familiar in a strange way. He had never expected to see any of this familiarity again.

The agent who appeared to be in charge approached Jack as soon as they got out of the car. He looked vaguely familiar, but all his smiles were directed at Jack. "Hey, Jack. Good to have you in the field again."

Well, he understood that sentiment. It also meant that the man had been working at CTU when Jack was a field agent there, which meant that the agent would know Tony, though Tony might not know him. After all, he had been director of CTU but didn't particularly know many of the people in Jack's department. "Thanks, Lee. Do you remember Tony Almeida?" Jack replied, confirming Tony's suspicions.

He placed an emotionless mask on his face just in time for the harsh comments. "Yeah, I don't know what he's doing here though." That was a question Tony had wanted to ask himself. With all this trained CTU back up team, what was the point of having him there?

"I want him here." Jack said, short and to the point, as per usual.

"He's not authorized to be in the field." Tony was starting to dislike the man, but refused to let it show in the face that this Lee guy scrutinized.

Jack backed him up with solidity that Tony found somewhat comforting. "I'm going through that door first. I want him there to back me up."

Lee knew when to drop it. "Fine," he said, clearly annoyed, "Get me another vest!" He called out to some of his fellow agents. Tony pulled on the supplied bulletproof vest as Jack and Lee talked.

"You got a visual on the suspects?" Jack asked.

"We've got a fiber-optic camera inside the room. According to the manager, we're grabbing a mid-40's female and a teenage male, possibly mother and son. Both Middle Eastern." He said, voice holding a hint of smugness.

Jack was all business, "Okay, we need the suspects alive. They're no good to us dead."

"I've been briefed." Tony disliked the man, though how much of that was his personality and how much because he had brought up sore points, he wasn't sure.

"Let's go."

An agent spoke up from the side of the room in front of a video screen. "Agent Castle, I have a visual on the woman." Tony walked over with Castle and Jack to see the image of the woman.

She was middle-eastern and lying on the bed, clutching her arm to her chest. Tony frowned, looking more closely at the sleeve of her shirt, which looked bloodstained. He winced in sympathetic pain.

"What about the kid?" He asked, remembering Castle's briefing.

The agent shrugged, "I haven't seen him yet."

Waiting wasn't Jack's strong suit, and especially not under so much pressure. "We have to go. Now."

They prepared to raid the room, Tony acting on automatic as he had earlier while saving Jack and Audrey. At least his body had not forgotten how to prep to enter a room with a hostile inside.

"Are you ready?" Jack asked quietly.

"Go." Tony replied.

They slammed open the door with guns brandished as Jack yelled, "Don't move!" and "Drop the weapon!" as the woman pulled out a gun as though to shoot herself.

Jack raced in and grabbed the woman's gun before she could shoot anyone and Castle was on her before Tony could blink. "Where is the override?" He pressed on the woman's wound, which was still bleeding. "Tell me who's got it. Tell me now."

Tony was in no way averse to torture. When you had worked at CTU alongside Jack Bauer as long as he had, it was hard to be. Sometimes, it was simply the only way of getting information in time to save the innocents. He was not about to sacrifice innocent lives so terrorists could keep a few rights. This, however, was inefficient and ridiculous.

Jack yelled, "Agent Castle!"

Tony echoed him, "Castle, stand down."

"Agent Castle!" Jack again.

"Please stand down!" Tony said again, uselessly. He gave it up as he said the words and went for a more efficient way. He grabbed Castle and pulled him off the woman who was gasping with pain. He slammed him up against the wall, dislike for the man showing when he neglected to soften the blow.

"We have to get her to talk!" Castle insisted, defensively.

Tony grimaced at the man. "She's going to go into shock before she dies. Calm down." Years of directing CTU made him recognize the unwilling, rebellious look on Castle's face and it made him no happier. So the man hated him for giving orders where they weren't wanted. Perfect.

"Agent Castle, step outside. Now! I want her prints and photograph sent over to CTU immediately." Tony appreciated Jack running interference, but was bitter that he had to. It wasn't his fault though and Jack had to have expected some resistance when he brought a convicted traitor to work in the field with him.

As Jack left the room, Tony looked after him uncomfortably then over at the woman in the bed. She looked terrified and pained. He couldn't exactly do anything for the former, but he spoke to her about the latter. "Come on, let me see your arm."

She hesitated before letting him see the arm. It didn't take long for Tony to know what he was seeing. Bullet holes weren't exactly unfamiliar wounds to him.

"Jack!" He yelled out, deciding that whatever Jack was telling Castle couldn't be that important.

"Yeah?" It obviously wasn't, seeing as Jack was back in the room in a moment.

"This is a bullet wound, probably a couple of hours old." He said, wondering what that meant even as he reported it.

**3:30:13**

Tony was a natural leader. He knew that, knew he worked best when he was heading things up. When he was under someone else's command, he had a tendency towards insubordination. It was one of the reasons he had disliked Ryan Chappelle so much. Well, that and he was just an ass.

So it made sense in that capacity that he seemed to take over the mission. Jack was communicating with CTU and Tony was overseeing a doctor's treatment of the woman. "I want you to give her something for the pain, but make sure she stays lucid, understand?"

The man nodded and Tony went over to check on Jack. "Did you find out who she is yet?" The question reminded him of a million others like it he had asked his analysts at CTU.

"Yeah. Her name is Dina Araz. She immigrated to the United States five years ago, became a citizen two years ago. Married to Navi Araz. He's also a nationalized citizen. Owns an electronics store in Carson. They have one son, Behrooz, 17. A junior at the local high school. None of them have criminal records." Tony fixed the information in his mind. You never knew when it might come in useful, especially if he continued helping Jack interrogate the woman.

"Did they pop up on any watch lists?" Tony asked. That might be helpful.

But Jack shook his head. "No. They must have slipped under the radar. Let's send some teams over to the house and see what we find."

Jack was slipping back into the CTU partnership with Tony as easily as Tony was based on the way he phrased things as questions or suggestions. He could almost fool himself into thinking that Michelle and Chase, their respective second in commands, were there.

At this point Jack's cell phone rang again. Jack answered it impatiently. "Yeah?"

"Hold on Erin, I can barely hear you." And he walked out of the room. Tony took their regained partnership as a sign that he could follow.

"Go ahead." Then a pause as he looked at Tony. "Erin, I'm going to put you on speakerphone. Hold on a second. You're on."

"This conversation happened an hour ago between mother and son." Driscoll's unfamiliar voice sounded tinny on the speakerphone, but he could hear both sides of the conversation now and was strangely touched by the show of trust.

The woman, Dina, and her son, Behrooz, came across loud and clear on the cell phone. Near the end, Jack and Tony's eyes met, both knowing that this was good. After he hung up, Jack said, unnecessarily, "We got our leverage."

Tony sighed mentally. He had been worried that they wouldn't be able to break her for a while, but with a weak link like a son she would do anything for … that was all Jack needed.

And indeed it was. Tony watched carefully, as Jack played their cards just right to get her to accept an immunity deal for her son.

**3:45:32**

The whir of the fax machine alerted Tony that they were about to get exactly what they wanted.

Jack half ran, half walked over to the fax and ripped the paper out of the holding tray. It was obvious enough that he was getting impatient. Only Tony was close enough to hear his whispered, "Thank god."

He thrust the form at Dina as though he could make her accept it faster through sheer will power. "This is a pardon for your son, signed by the president."

It only took her a moment to look over the paper before she replied, cold and clear. "This is acceptable."

Jack prompted her, "Where is he?" He was obviously irritated by the time this was taking. Thinking about it, so was Tony, but he was somehow more used to the wait. It came from what they were used to doing at CTU. Tony was more prone to sitting in the Situation Room or in the main floor, watching the progress of field team from computer screens. He knew what it was like to not be able to do anything.

Jack though, Jack was a field agent to the core. He hated the tense wait more than any field situation.

Tony tuned out his mental ramblings to hear her answer. "He's at Lindauer Memorial Hospital. It's not far."

Castle was apparently trying to redeem himself in Jack's eyes based on the way he snapped to action. "Set up a perimeter around Lindauer Memorial." He ordered his men, rather unnecessarily.

"I want you to call him." Jack instructed Dina, "Give me the phone, we have to record the call." He took her phone and plugged it up to a computer with as little fuss as possible before handing it back to her.

Their call was enough to reassure Tony that mother and son truly cared about one another. Sure, the woman had probably been planning this for years, but he felt sorry for the son who had most likely been dragged into this with little to no explanation.

Then again, it was hard to be the son of two terrorists without having done some fairly serious crimes. His mother had wanted him to have a presidential pardon at least, though whether that was just for consorting with terrorists or for some other crime, they hadn't been told.

Jack and Dina managed to work out that he would wait for Jack and the team in the emergency room, as crowded as they could get it. As they hung up, Tony alerted team and Jack, "We're transferring the suspect. They want him sent over to protective court right away."

"Copy that," Castle replied. Evidently, Jack had said something that helped ease Castle's hostility towards him.

"Let's go." Jack ordered. Tony felt a little like he was taking another step down the road back to that old life. Oh well, too late to turn back now and he had known that all along. It was always too late to turn back.

**3:54:12**

The drive had been incredibly awkward. Even more so than his drive with Jack to the heliport while chasing Powell. The silence had been blended with tension and pressurized by dislike between the occupants of the car.

And driving up to find police vehicles surrounding the hospital was not the sight they had particularly wanted to see. Jack was the first to say something about it. "Tony, did you notify security?" It was posed to try to avoid sounding accusatory, but it sounded so anyway.

"No." Tony replied, just as confused and worried about the sudden security presence as the others were.

"Something is wrong." Dina said, radiating fear. Tony, Jack, and Castle disregarded her.

Jack turned to Castle to give him instructions. "Set up a level three security cordon around the hospital."

Castle acknowledged the request with a, "You got it." But Jack was already halfway out of the car.

"I'm going with you!" Dina demanded desperately, but all she got from Jack was an annoyed refusal as he jogged into the hospital.

Tony watched Jack go for a second before turning to Castle who was directing his men.

"Organize with the hospital as the center point, but put extra strength in the main exit and these other three ways out." He was directing them, referring to a map of the hospital on a laptop near him.

Tony's cell rang as Castle continued explaining how they would set up the perimeter. "Hold on a second," he excused himself.

"All right." Castle replied, not sounding particularly bothered to be rid of him. "Have your men on both sides …" he continued.

Tony turned away and was impressed with himself when he answered without saying his last name, especially after all this devolution back to his old life today.

"Yeah?"

"Tony, it's Jack." He sounded frantic, or as frantic as Jack Bauer can get. "Navi Araz is here. He's already killed his wife's brother." It only took Tony a second to identify the name as Dina's husband.

"What about the boy?" Tony asked, keeping his mind focused on the goal.

"I don't know. We're going to have to lock down all the exits. I think he's headed for the parking garage. I need you to meet me on the east side of the building with backup." Good thing Castle already had extra security on the exits. It shouldn't be hard to close them down.

"Copy that." He said and hung up before turning back to Castle and his men. "We're going to the east side of the building. We need back up teams there right away."

After distributing the orders, Tony rushed back over to the car Jack, Castle, and he had driven in. Dina still sat in the back seat, looked strained. "What's happening?" She asked, sounding desperately worried.

He didn't have time for this. He pushed down on the gas and sidestepped the question. "We're still looking for your son."

"There's more. Tell me!"

Tony got impatient with it all. "Mrs. Araz, we're going to find your son, all right?"

He didn't wait for her reassurance and instead pressed down harder on the gas.

The rest of the drive was full of a tense silence that Dina spent nearly in tears. Tony found himself immune to her pain, as he tended to become in high-pressure situations. The only person whose tears had always affected him was Michelle and … he stopped the train of thought by speeding up even more.

He grabbed his cell phone and took his eyes off of the road for a moment to tap in Jack's cell number.

"Jack, we're in the garage now." He said when Jack picked up, urgency in his voice.

"I'm almost there." Jack responded, sounding tense. "Can you get an ID?"

He glanced around and replied, "No, nothing yet."

It wasn't long after that that he heard the first gunshots. Driving towards them was second nature to someone who had worked at CTU for as long as he had. Besides, doubtlessly, Jack was there.

As he had guessed, Jack had his gun up and pointed at a man across the way. Tony memorized his features with a careful accuracy and then turned his attention to the boy he was holding hostage, presumably Behrooz.

"Tony, stop the car." Jack yelled out.

Tony obliged as Dina screamed to her son and he screamed back, confirming Tony's assumptions on who he was. Jack and Tony watched helplessly as Navi Araz took his son through a door that led down to the basement.

"Keep her in the car. Let's seal all the exits of the basement. He's got nowhere to go but down. Set up a link with CTU now!" After all the excitement, it took Tony a moment to remember that he wasn't actually working for CTU right now. It took him an even longer moment to remember that he had been arrested for treason. It felt like a release to forget those things that had been so central in his mind for so long.

"Copy that." He said to Jack before speaking into his headset. "Call CTU. We need back up here." Then he turned to Dina, who seemed to be in a state of panic. "Mrs. Araz, calm down. We'll get your son. Calm down."

The link to CTU took little to no time to set up and soon Jack was talking to Erin Driscoll again.

"We've got all the entrances and exits covered. He's trapped down there." Jack stated.

Tony shrugged, putting forward an idea. "Let's try to open up a negotiation."

It sounded reasonable to him, but Dina scoffed at the very idea. "My husband won't negotiate."

She sounded calmly, eerily certain, as though she had just accepted that she and her son might die, and that it was a very likely possibility. However, it had to be better than the desperate, shrieking creature she had been earlier when she saw her son.

"Why is that?" Tony asked cautiously.

"He doesn't need to." She said, in that same strained and serene voice. "He has to assume I have agreed to help you in return for my son's safety."

Tony connected the dots and realized what Dina already knew. Navi knew that he had the chief bargaining chip. Dina was their only lead and she would only respond when she had her son back. He felt like cursing.

"Well, he won't stay down there with him forever." They could wait him out, couldn't they? Of course he had forgotten the pressing time that was ticking away before their very eyes as every minute passed without locating the override.

"He won't. In two hours, all the reactors will have gone critical. After that, it won't matter what I tell you, and he can kill my son. I am only helping you to save his life. I believe in our cause, and if you can't save my son, I am happy to see the reactors melt down." Tony recoiled at her harsh voice and met Jack's eyes, revolted and annoyed at the classic terrorist fanaticism.

"Did you get that?" Jack asked Driscoll, keeping his eyes fixed on Dina with a disgustedly frustrated look.

**4:00:00**

**A/N:**Hope you liked it, even though writing all this without Michelle is driving me nuts. Ah well, there are quite a few fun scenes in there anyway! But don't listen to me, give me your own feedback! Thanks for reading and the next chapter will be up very shortly.


	4. Back to CTU

**A/N:** And here's the next chapter right as I said. Happy Fourth of July everyone American out there! If there's anyone not American ... still happy fourth of July I suppose :-). Once again, I am forever grateful for all your reviews! The next chapter should be up in a few days ... by Sunday at least (probably sooner). Without further ado, I give you chapter four, Back to CTU (which should give away at least some of the content of this chapter). ;-)

**Disclaimer:**Everything you recognize belongs to Fox and not me. I don't own 24. (Well the DVDs, but that's all!)

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 4 – Back to CTU**

**4:00 – 5:00 PM**

**4:02:12**

Jack walked away from them to call who had set up a conference in the situation room at CTU. Occasionally he looked back at all of them, which made Tony rather nervous.

After hanging up, he walked back, passing by Dina as he did so. "You're running out of time." She called out to him, "Save my son."

Jack ignored her plea and spoke to Castle. "Take her with us, we're going to need her."

Castle nodded and dragged her off, not sparing her or being careful of her bullet wound. Tony watched them, concerned, before deciding a terrorist who wanted innocents dead was not his first priority.

Jack gestured Tony to follow him back up the stairs to the main area of the hospital. They were walking there, followed by an entourage of CTU agents when Jack got another call from Driscoll.

Tony listened carefully, but was unable to glean any new information from Jack's brief questions to Driscoll.

"We got him." Jack's voice was victorious as he began filling Tony in.

"Where are they?" He asked, curious and strangely frustrated that Jack knew everything before he did. Dina's reminder that they only had two hours to locate the override device had him under pressure again.

"In the laundry room." Jack replied before turning back to the men following behind them. "I need two teams to the north wing. Set up a hard perimeter. We're moving to the third floor. I need a baseline and a rappelling harness."

"Copy that." Castle said, getting ready to prep his men.

"Lee," Jack continued, "get me Dina Araz. We're putting her into play."

Tony had to commend Castle for his lack of questions. "Got it." He replied.

Jack continued walking and Tony followed. "Where are we going?" He asked, figuring that they were heading towards an entrance to the laundry room.

Jack confirmed his suspicions. "I'm going to rappel down the laundry chute and take them by surprise." It was not the wildest plan Tony had ever heard come out of Jack's mouth. The odds were even fairly decent in this plan. He nodded, calculating.

"And they aren't going to notice you rappelling down?"

"I'm going to have Dina call Navi and try to distract him. It's the best plan we have." Well, he couldn't argue with that.

**4:09:02**

Setting up a rappel line in a laundry chute was not something Tony had ever expected to have to do, and therefore was little help in setting it up. Jack however, had a strange air of experience about him as he fixed up cords and set the line in the top of the chute. In fact, it didn't take all too long before everything looked fairly steady.

"All right, are you set?" He questioned even as he turned to see Castle and Dina coming toward them from down the hall. Both of them had very curious looks, as though they had never seen two government agents putting up a rappel line in a laundry chute before. Then again, they probably hadn't.

"Yeah," Jack responded to his question before speaking to Dina, "We think we found them."

"Where?" Her voice betrayed her hope.

"In the basement, in the laundry room. Our satellite picked up two thermal images." Castle's face cleared as he realized there was reason to their madness. Dina was fixated on other things though.

"That means Behrooz is still alive."

"Yes. I'm going to need you to distract your husband."

Tony continued the outlining of their plan. "I'm going to take you down to the basement. In one minute, you are going to call your husband. We're going to need you to keep him on the line as long as possible." It reminded him of setting up a trace. And that was what they were doing really, just the trace was alive, deadly, and named Jack Bauer.

"All right." They had known she would accept. There was something reassuring to a terrorist with such a dramatic weak spot.

"Let's go." Tony ushered her on their way as Jack attached himself to the ropes.

"Okay," Jack said, turning his attention to Castle, "Are you ready?"

"Ready." Castle said, though his voice was off in the distance as Tony brought Dina down to the basement in silence.

"All right." He said, "Come here." They stopped in the middle of the stairs and Tony looked at his watch, calculating the time it would take and how long Dina could keep her husband on the phone. "Okay," he said, "make the call. Now remember, keep him on as long as you can."

He had a sudden flash of misgiving while handing her a cell phone to call from. What if she called and warned her husband? Then he remembered the desperation in her voice when she considered losing her son and handed the phone over.

She typed in a cell number nervously, but with the beginnings of a plan in her eyes. Even knowing how much she cared about her son, Tony had seen the glow of fanaticism in her eyes earlier while talking about terrorism. He leaned over so he could hear both sides of the call.

"Yes?" The voice was cool. If he hadn't known better, Tony would never have guessed it was from a man who was holding his son hostage waiting for five nuclear reactors to melt down.

"It's Dina." Her voice didn't give anything away at least.

Now he sounded more interested. "Where are you?"

"Still in the hospital."

"What have you told them?" He asked, now seeming a little desperate himself. However, for him, it wasn't human loss of life that had him worried but the destruction of their plans.

"Nothing. And I'll keep my mouth shut if you release our son." Tony silently hoped she was just a good liar. _She better be, _he thought.

"You know I can't do that." He replied.

"Then at least promise me you won't kill him. Navi, please. He's our son." Now Tony was fairly sure she was being genuinely honest in her pleas.

"You turned him against me. Our sacrifice is nothing compared to the martyrs who have given all they have for our cause. No. He can still be of service." That was just terrorist ramblings. Classic and frustrating.

"Is he still alive?" Now she was just fishing for straws to keep him on the line and distracted.

"Yes. And he'll remain alive as long as you remain silent. How am I to do this alone? We planned this mission together, we fought it out as if of one mind. You betrayed me. Don't tell me that! Your conspiracy with him is over. I won't allow you to continue it right in front of me. The boy is all I have. The only thing that keeps them from storming through that door. Of course it's true. But in the end … in the end you'll find that the martyrs … and you will suffer even worse than them. You're going to have to live knowing that everyone important in your life to is dead – your son, your brother. Yes, I killed your brother too."

Suddenly the monologue was cut off. Distantly they heard Navi say, "Don't move." As though to someone else in the room. Tony just hoped it wasn't Jack. Then their connection was cut off as Navi hung up. Dina stared at the phone in shock. Tony figured it wasn't the best way to hear about your brother's death, but they didn't have time for it right now.

Tony left her with another agent, he didn't check who it was, and ran down the stairs to get more information on the situation. Maybe he could even help out. While on his way down the stairs, Tony pulled out his radio and sent out to all the other agents, "Hostile's engaged. I repeat, hostile's engaged."

He kept running until he reached the laundry room and barged in, gun drawn, to find a dead man and a boy pointing a gun at Jack. Presumably the dead one was Navi and the boy Behrooz. "Drop the gun!" Tony yelled, disliking having a gun pointed at one of his only friends. "Drop the gun!"

"Put the gun down." Jack said, much more calmly and persuasively. Having two guns pointed at him seemed to be enough urging for the kid and he placed the gun on a table, looking shell-shocked.

"Hands on your head." Tony ordered. "Turn around."

Jack checked the dead man for a pulse uselessly. All he got from his efforts was a classic "Damn it," which was enough proof for Tony that the man was dead. Dina had better have some good information because right now she was their only lead.

"Behrooz are you alright?" Dina's voice came ringing into the room. Tony turned to see Castle and the agent he had left Dina with. So much for staying with her.

"I killed him," the boy shook with disbelief. "I did it. I killed father." That made more sense. Jack wasn't about to kill one of their few leads.

"Your son is safe. He's alive. We did what you asked. Now, where is the override device?" Jack said, working up their last lead.

"I don't know that, but I can give you an address where much of the work behind today's attack was done." Tony could feel a 'damn it' of his own coming on. What did the woman think they had been bargaining that pardon for? Just a planning spot? Well, they would take what they could get.

Jack echoed his sentiments. "That's not the deal we made!"

"That's all I know. I can only tell you what I know."

They didn't have time to argue and Jack knew it. "What's the address?" He asked urgently.

"24878 Alvord Street."

"What's there?" Tony took up asking questions as he kept his gun to Behrooz's neck.

"It was a drop-off. The place we used to get our final assignments. It was the last place we saw the men who were going to take possession of the override." That sounded vaguely promising. More promising than nothing at least.

"When was that?" Jack interrogated.

"Yesterday." Good, this was without doubt the best chance they had.

"Send in an advance team. Tell them to set up a hard perimeter. No on goes in there until we get there." Jack directed Castle. Tony felt a touch of pride at being one of those elite few who the advance team had to wait for.

Castle's reply was automatic as he walked off to take care of it. "You got it."

"What about these two?" Tony asked, gesturing to the gun he still had pointed at Behrooz.

"Until we know she's not lying, they come with us." Jack instructed. Tony led Behrooz with his gun and Dina followed, looking lost.

**4:23:57**

The drive seemed quicker than it really was. Before they knew it, they were greeted at the address by perimeter teams. They parked the car and ran up to crouch behind a van with an agent from the perimeter team. He introduced himself to Jack. "Agent Bauer, Agent Solars."

Jack hurriedly introduced the man to Tony, "Agent Almeida. You set your perimeter yet?" It took Tony a moment to realize that Jack had just called him Agent Almeida. He didn't move to correct it, but wondered whether Jack had done it just to avoid questions or because he had honestly forgotten Tony wasn't a CTU agent anymore.

"Anything within four blocks isn't going anywhere." Solars said confidently.

"Any activity?" Tony asked.

The man shrugged, "Not that we've seen." Which meant that there still might be people on the inside.

"OK, I want to keep this as surgical as possible. You, me, and Almeida will be leading the searching team. Remember, maintain backup. Are you ready?" Jack certainly was.

"Yeah," Tony said, checking his gun and unhooking the safety.

"Go." Jack commanded.

They ran forward, around the car and on until they reached the building at the address Dina had given them. Jack went on one side of the door with Tony on the other as they opened it as quickly as they could.

And into an empty room. Their guns were still out, but drooped as they realized there was no need for them. "We're clear." Jack yelled to the back up teams.

Solars walked in with a flashlight and they all walked around examining the wooden room that was covered in dust and looked abandoned. Tony went for the simplest explanation, though it wasn't one Jack wanted to hear. "Dina must have been lying."

"I don't think so." Jack said, "She wants to save her son." That made sense to Tony, he had seen her desperation just as Jack had, but it didn't change the fact that there was nothing in this empty, boarded up shack.

"Well, they must have cleared the place out." He decided.

Jack looked furious at having another dead end lead. "Bring in a forensics team now. I want this place torn apart for fingerprints." They both knew that by the time forensics found anything it might be too late.

"Yes, sir." Solars said, obediently leaving to give instructions to the back up.

Jack squatted down as Tony kept looking on the walls for anything at all to go on. All he could find though was rotten wood. Suddenly Jack said, "Tony."

"What is it?" He moved over to see what Jack was looking at. He was pointing his flashlight at a power cord hooked up to an outlet and leading into the floor. They walked toward it, Tony trying not to get his hopes up as Jack bent down and easily removed a board from the floor.

They released a breath in unison. So there really could be something to follow up on here after all. Tony knelt to help Jack remove the boards until they had revealed something that looked like a trapdoor. Jack pulled lightly on the rope that allowed it to be moved before placing his flashlight in his mouth and preparing to pull with both hands. Tony stood up again and aimed his gun at the opening. "Go." He said.

Jack pulled the door up and shone the flashlight into the hole only to reveal a ladder leading down to a dirt floor. Maneuvering himself onto the ladder, Jack climbed down with Tony providing light from the top. When he got to the bottom, he looked around with flashlight in hand before calling, "clear," to Tony back on top.

It didn't take long for him to locate the place where the power cord went to and fix a few plugs so that the room was illuminated by the light bulbs in the ceiling. Tony climbed down the ladder to see for himself. It wasn't a big room, sloping down on one side like a bunker and had the other three walls covered in plans and photos.

Jack pointed one out. "It's the train from the attack this morning."

Tony nodded, remembering watching something about that on the news. "So that's how they got the override." He recalled seeing something about that in the story too and was rewarded for the memory by Jack's nod.

He kept scanning the walls until he noticed Jack had stopped moving. "Jack?" He asked, before coming over to see what had caught his attention. He was looking at a picture of Audrey and Secretary Heller at some formal event with security in the background. In fact, Jack was in the background. "They planned the kidnapping here." Tony said, unnecessarily.

"Yeah." Jack responded, grimly.

**4:36:24**

Not many people got to see Jack Bauer shaken, or didn't realize what they were seeing at least, but Tony seemed to be one of the few who had seen it and recognized it. Jack had walked around the basement several times, identifying places and plans from the day's events so far, trying to keep his mind off the kidnapping.

Tony gave him some space and didn't try to listen in when he called someone back at District, he supposed. It wasn't until he got off the call that Jack turned to speak with Tony again.

"Tony, I need to talk to you." Tony could tell by Jack's less than anxious manner that he did not want to be part of that conversation. Luckily, Jack's cell phone chose to ring right then. "I'm sorry, just give me a minute." He said, walking to the other side of the room to take the call.

What could Jack want to talk about that they hadn't yet? Nothing good, he was sure. Probably something from their past, seeing as Jack didn't truly want to discuss it. Would he try to talk about Michelle again? Or was this just going to be about whether he would help out with something else? Either way, Tony decided it was better for him to leave and help out the perimeter teams while he still could. Jack shot him a look as he climbed back up the ladder, but he ignored it.

What followed was a series of directed loitering, like most agents were doing on top. They seemed curious about what had been found, but Tony only told Solars, the leader of the perimeter teams. Unfortunately, Jack didn't take too long down in the hidden room before he came back up to instruct the back up.

Of course, Jack found him even though he was outside and trying to avoid the field agent. "Hey." Jack said, not noticing that Tony seemed reluctant to have this conversation.

"Hey." Tony replied.

"I need to follow up on a lead of my own." Jack started without preamble. This wasn't sounding good and Tony was about to start formulating a request to stay with the perimeter teams or something just so he wouldn't have to leave the life of a government agent again when Jack caught him by surprise. "I need you to do me a favor. I need you to take Dina Araz and her son back to CTU and head up the interrogation."

His plans staggered to a halt and his mind caught on the words "back to CTU." His first reaction was outright refusal, then a nostalgic longing.

"Wait a second Jack." He said, still reeling, "They'd never let me set foot in CTU, even if I wanted to." Whether he wanted to or not … which was certainly a question right now.

"Just listen to me. You're the only one I can trust to do this. Over the last two hours I watched my friend come back to life." He couldn't argue with that. Over the last two hours, Tony had watched himself come back to life. There was something about this that had no substitute.

Still. It hurt so much. The wounds from the day of the virus had never truly healed and now they bled as though fresh. "It's not that simple, Jack." He said, tortured.

"If I press hard enough, I can get you reinstated. But I need to know now: is that what you want?"

The question hit hard. What would it be like to be back at CTU? His first thought was, _perfection again._ But then the second, unstated part of the question hit. What would it be like to be back at CTU without Michelle Dessler? Could it possibly be worse than what he was going through now? "I don't know." He replied honestly.

Jack looked sympathetic for a moment and lost some of his urgency as he looked down at his feet. "Maybe I was wrong." And he turned his back to Tony and began to walk away.

Did he have the strength to take him up on his offer? To go back to CTU, even knowing that he would be just as alone as he was now. Even more aware of his loss, in fact. Knowing that things could be perfect again if he had Michelle back. How much more torn apart could his life become?

Just then, Jack turned around. "You saved the life of the daughter of the Secretary of Defense, who just happens to be my boss. You do know that, right?"

He was proving that it was a definite possibility that he could get him reinstated, but indecision still reigned supreme. Jack turned his back to him again and walked away.

Tony was reminded harshly of the way Michelle had walked away that last time. The way he had spent so long afterward wondering if it would have made a difference if he had gone after her and, worse, knowing it would have. With that, he realized something he hadn't until after the fact last time. He would regret letting Jack leave.

"Jack," he called out. Jack turned around, "Thanks," he continued, more quietly, his voice breaking ever so slightly. "I'll do it."

It was fleeting and barely there, but Tony saw the rare occurrence that was Jack Bauer smiling. "Lee," Jack said to Castle, who happened to be nearby, "Agent Almeida will be driving your car."

The buoyant sensation Tony felt when he heard Jack refer to him as Agent Almeida was enough to convince himself that he had made the right choice.

**4:41:00**

Getting out of the car had been the first thing that felt strange. He remembered acutely getting into a police car and driving away to federal prison, thinking that he would never set foot in CTU again, and here he was as though it was an ordinary day prior to his arrest.

Coming in the door was the next thing he had never expected to do again. He was stopped by security, which was a relief actually. He felt too much like he was falling into a memory, but in other times, all the guards knew him well enough to let him by without pausing for breath.

"I'm Tony Almeida, I'm supposed to be …" The guard cut him off.

"Yeah, we heard. Just put your thumb here and …" Tony placed his thumb on the pad and pressed a button beside it to start the fingerprint scan. He had done this enough years that he probably knew the security measures better than the guard did. The man looked down at his screen, up at Tony and then ushered him through.

Tony spent a moment wondering what the man had been looking at. His old CTU ID? He couldn't imagine what else would be brought up by a finger scan. It was enough to send him back to that sense of déjà vu.

Two more security guards met him as he began the familiar walk down CTU's back halls to the main area. They walked beside him in silence as he categorized the other halls they passed. Situation room, forensics, medical, IT … they all seemed to crash in on him. He refused to let it show on his face though.

The only outer emotion he allowed to seep through was when they passed the dark hall where Michelle had kissed him for the first time all those years ago. A wince crossed his face as he became intensely aware of her absence. In his wildest dreams while in prison, when he had pictured returning to CTU, it was always with Michelle at his side.

He shook it off as they reached their destination and he realized that Behrooz and Dina were right behind him with their own entourage of security guards. He distracted himself by checking up on them, but couldn't stop the initial look. To the director's office, to Jack's office, to Michelle's desk which he knew nearly as well as his own.

It was only the lack of familiar faces that dissuaded him: no Adam, Chloe, Chase, Kim … Michelle. It was enough to allow him to turn his attention to the woman approaching him. "Mr. Almeida." She stated.

"That's right." Tony replied, though it wasn't a question.

"Erin Driscoll, Director of CTU." He had guessed, but hearing someone else's name with the title 'Director of CTU' after it still stung.

"How are you?" He mumbled as he turned to gesture to Dina and Behrooz. "This is Mrs. Araz and her son Behrooz. Mrs. Araz is in need of medical attention right away."

Driscoll spoke to the guard beside Tony, "Have them taken care of, then prepare them for interrogation."

Dina seemed worried, but it wasn't the same desperate sound Tony had heard from her earlier when her son was being threatened. "We've told you everything we know."

"We'll see." Driscoll said, lacking interest.

The guard ushered them away, and Tony watched them head in the direction of the holding rooms. Driscoll drew his attention back to her by handing him a badge and gun.

He stared at the two items she held. They were a physical representation of becoming a CTU agent again and he wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. "Ms. Driscoll," he began, forcing the words out of his mouth. "I'm sure you're aware of my history here."

"Not an issue." She spoke briskly. "Jack Bauer and Secretary Heller both vouched for you. That's enough for me." He nodded and took the badge and gun with the excitement of a child.

"All right, thank you." She began walking away when he said, "Jack thought it'd be a good idea if I headed up the interrogation." _And I'm the only person he trusts to do it._ He continued mentally, hoping he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. Driscoll was stretching just allowing a traitor a temporary post at her agency.

"That makes sense." She replied, generously. "You've had a chance to observe them first hand. If there's anything you need, let me know."

He released a breath and began walking over to the holding rooms as Driscoll walked toward one of the women at a desk. He watched and assisted as they set up for interrogation. Finally, Tony found himself alone, watching Dina from behind the two-way mirror with nothing to distract him.

The memories came on then. It was this exact holding room that he had been held in with Michelle years ago when they were arrested for assisting Jack and drugging Ryan Chappelle. This same room where he had spent so long with Jack interrogating someone while he and maybe Chase or Michelle or some other person from back then waited with him for results in this room.

He didn't cry, but the emotion crested and he sat down in a chair, feeling incredibly alone.

**5:00:00**

**A/N:** Aw! I love that scene where Jack asks Tony to come back to CTU! You should go grab the DVD and watch it real fast, it is so good! Anyway, reviews are my only payment, so I would love some! It would make me write faster anyway ... :-). Now go watch some fireworks and celebrate America's birth. :-)

**_Important!_** **If you don't normally read author's notes, read this one! I need some input on whether or not I should delve into Michelle's point of view when she comes into the story. Should I just stick to Tony, or put in some of Michelle too? If I don't put in her POV, I might write a sidestory with her view of some of the major events or I might not ...your opinion either way is welcomed.**


	5. Living Again

**A/N: **You guys are so fabulously lucky that I'm posting this, but your reviews got to me. I told myself, "You must finish that chapter tonight!" And so I did ... so here is your post at 2:30 AM :-). Thanks again so much for your reviews and your input on the Michelle issue. I'll expand on my decision and so on at the end. For now, enjoy!

**Edit:** Had to fix a few minor typos that were seriously getting to me.

**Disclaimer:** Nothing that you recognize is mine, it all belongs to Fox.

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 5 – Living Again**

**5:00 – 6:00 PM**

**5:16:12**

"I want you to tell me who's still out there. I want the name of anyone who could help us find that override to stop the plants from melting down." Tony's interrogation voice had come back just as quickly as all the other things he had been so used to doing eighteen months ago.

Dina was firm though. "My husband kept all of this from me. I only helped." It frustrated Tony. He couldn't get anything from her without a little more freedom from Driscoll. Repeating the question again and again simply wasn't going to work with this woman.

"That's a bunch of crap! Now, we know you were just as involved as your husband. Listen, we're quite aware that the only reason you're helping us is because of your son. But believe me, it's not too late for us to change our minds about how we treat him." All right, he couldn't actually nullify the immunity deal, but he could threaten to do so.

Besides, Driscoll wasn't going to complain because it worked. "There are some names I heard Navi mention. They might know what you want. But I don't know how to find them." Not quite as good as what, say, Jack could have gotten with force, but it was a start.

He handed her a pen and piece of paper, deciding to let up for a little. "All right. Why don't you start by writing their names down?" He looked up through the two-way mirror, knowing Driscoll was on the other side. He wondered if he dared to ask her to give him a little more slack in terms of this interrogation.

Then again, he was fairly sure she was having her analyst, Sarah, watch him so maybe he shouldn't.

"Tony," his name came crackling over his earpiece, "ask her about a man named Habib Marwan."

Tony complied without question, something he was rather proud of. If this had been a few years ago and she was Chappelle or even George Mason … "Who is Habib Marwan?"

She looked up at him with recognition in her eyes that was quickly masked. Damn it. "I heard Navi speak of him a few times. He's an engineer. Beyond that, I don't know."

He walked around the chair desperate for more, but not daring to stretch the limits too much. This was maddening. Everything had worked so much more smoothly here eighteen months ago. He hadn't been around too long, but from what he could tell, Driscoll was slowly losing her grip on CTU.

Even with Jack addicted to heroin, having _Adam_ and _Chloe_ as their two top analysts, the Kim and Chase dynamic, and being married to his second in command, things had still worked out somehow.

Perhaps it was because the agents and analysts were all loyal to Jack and Tony. Here, it seemed that no one would complain too loudly if Driscoll was fired.

That sort of false loyalty had Tony worried. Where would they be if CTU was to collapse in on itself?

**5:26:34**

He grabbed the papers from the printer, frustrated that after dealing with that analyst for ten minutes, he had ended doing it himself. Tony was just finishing checking out the names Dina had supplied them with, but a weak and nervous analyst had made it take longer than it should have.

God, he missed his old personnel. Sure, most weren't fabulous personality-wise, but they could do their stuff and do it fast.

He handed the papers to Driscoll and looked through the two-way mirror into the interrogation room where Dina Araz sat. "All right. So far every name Dina has given us has checked out as a mid-level cell member."

"But what's interesting is that Marwan, who she claims to have never met, is connected to everyone on this list. It looks like all roads lead to him." Tony nodded, he had noticed that too.

"This must be his operation, which means she definitely knows more than she's telling us." He hoped she understood the implied meaning.

She seemed to, to an extent at least. "So what do you want to do to make her talk?"

He noticed the way she stuck him with the responsibility if something went wrong by phrasing it like that, but ignored it. It was political and annoying, but not worth bringing to attention. "I just need you to give me a little more rope." Let her make of that what she would.

She looked him over with a stare meant to intimidate, but life had made Tony immune to such glares. "Do it." She spoke softly, knowing this was one of those things that wasn't spoken about in public political settings, but had to happen in government.

Tony walked into the interrogation room, hiding his pleasure at getting more trust from Driscoll and started off his questioning. "Why don't you tell me more about Habib Marwan." He made it sound like a request, but it was an order.

"I already told you."

"No," Tony corrected, "you told me you never met him."

"I haven't." He had known she would say that.

"Danny, can you come in here please?" He said loudly. Now she looked a little more worried. That was satisfying.

The man walked in, confused. "I'm going to need all audio and video in this room disconnected." He didn't need to call the man in to tell him that, but he wanted Dina to know exactly what he was doing.

"I'm not a stupid woman." She began, "What are you trying to prove with this?"

He shook his head, looking at her intensely. "I'm not trying to prove anything." He had an idea that sounded like it was one of Jack Bauer's. Which made sense, seeing as they had worked together for so long that some of their personalities had to have rubbed off on the other. "I just don't want to have what I'm about to say be recorded."

She looked away from him and said, "I don't believe you." That made sense. He wouldn't believe himself either if he were in her position. Now, all he had to do was convince her. He looked over at the two-way mirror and knew what he had to do.

He grabbed her and dragged her over to the door, remembering for a moment something Jack had done when he was trying to get information from Nina Myers while George Mason was here. Trying to prove that he had the power to do anything to her so she wasn't quite so smug. Of course, he wasn't about to drug anyone like Jack did, but this should work.

"Open the door!" He yelled, hoping that his history of committing treason wouldn't make them refuse him. Luckily, the door opened. "Everybody out. Get out now! Everyone, Erin."

He was toeing the line, but if she really trusted Jack and Secretary Heller's judgment she would leave. She looked at him, disapproving for a minute before turning silently and leaving. He sent her a silent thank you before shoving Dina back into the interrogation room and slamming her against the wall.

"Unless you tell me the whole truth right now, that deal you made to save your son is over and he goes to prison for murder and treason!" He recognized the desperate gleam in her eyes with satisfaction.

"You can't do that," she responded with false confidence, "the president signed an agreement."

Right. Because presidential deals were completely irrevocable. She obviously hadn't ever worked in the government. The president would not hesitate to go back on an immunity agreement. So he used that. "If that deal gets in the way of protecting this country, you think the President's gonna stand behind it? He's going to tear it up, and your son goes to prison for the rest of his life. And I'll tell you a little something about prison and based on the conditions of his confinement I'll tell you right now," this part hurt a little. He knew about prison conditions too well. "– I give Behrooz about three months before he commits suicide. And by the way, I'm going to make it my personal mission to make sure you'll never hear word one about what happens to him. Ever."

She looked scared and Tony was pleased that he had finally gotten to her. Now to follow it up … he went to leave the room just as Jack had done to him twice today.

And, like it worked on him, the tactic worked on Dina. "Wait," she said, "Habib Marwan is the man our cell reported to in the United States."

"You said your cell. How many other cells reported to him?" He managed to completely mask how grateful he was that his strategy had worked.

"I don't know." This time it seemed like she was telling the truth.

"But there were other cells." He clarified.

"Yes," she said.

"How many?" He repeated. After fighting terrorism for so long, he couldn't just let a bunch of terrorist cells go.

"I told you, I don't know. The cells are not in contact with one another. Marwan thought it was safer that way." He supposed that made sense. He also assumed that they would have time to interrogate her about that later.

He focused back on the subject at hand. "What about the override? Is it in his possession right now?"

"Definitely." She said, much more sure now than she had been less than half an hour ago.

"Definitely?" He asked, "Why definitely?"

"Your programmers are trying to interfere with the meltdown sequence. Marwan is the only one capable of stopping them." At least that meant that their techies were making some difference in the terrorist's plans. Giving them more time to locate the override.

"And he's trying to do this by controlling it directly?" He asked, using some of what the analysts outside were saying while fighting the control sequence.

"Exactly."

"Where?" He demanded. Dina hesitated, and he yelled it at her, "Where!"

She winced back and answered, "Somewhere in downtown."

"The Rockland Building?" He hoped. If she said yes, it meant that Jack was on the right track, seeing as that was where he was headed on another lead and Curtis Manning was already there.

She looked stricken and hesitant, after all, she had planned this for years and was destroying it for herself but she nodded. "Yes."

Tony rushed over to the phone and dialed a number he knew incredibly well, Michelle's desk. He knew that Sarah Gavin was at her old desk and only hoped that they hadn't changed the phone numbers in the eighteen months since he was last here.

He wouldn't let himself think about all the thousand other times he had dialed this number to hear Michelle pick up with her professional, "Dessler," only to soften her tone when she heard him on the other end. He was struck by the realization that this was one of the first memory he had had of Michelle that was completely happy in quite a while.

Thankfully, they hadn't changed the numbers, and Sarah picked up. "Sarah Gavin."

"Sarah, get me Jack Bauer on the phone." He glanced back at Dina for an instant before turning his back to her and leaving the interrogation room. As he passed the guard at the door, he spoke to him, "Place her back in holding." They didn't have the time or personnel to try and get more about other terrorist cells out of her now.

"Erin, Dina just confirmed Marwan's got the override. He's at the Rockland building." They walked together out to the main arena where Tony sat back, slightly bitter, and let Erin play the role of director. It took a forceful push to get the protests that he wanted to be out there alerting everyone back down.

"Everyone, listen up! The address where Curtis is and where Jack Bauer is heading is the location of the override. I want every station to focus on this location. I want field teams ready. Rework your assault tactics on the building factoring in this new information."

Sarah called him over after Driscoll was done briefing everyone. "Tony, I've got Jack."

He took the phone from her, nodding his thanks, before he said, "Jack."

"Yeah?" Jack asked from the other side.

"We have confirmation Habib Marwan's controlling the override. He's at the address you're headed to."

"What about Curtis?" Jack's voice had the slightest hint of worry in it.

He looked down at Sarah, not knowing the answer seeing as he had spent most of his time lately interrogating Dina. She shook her head and he conveyed that to Jack. "No, we haven't been able to reach him yet."

"Have you changed the assault profiles?" Classic Jack: expecting them to be just as quick and perfect on their end as he was on his.

"We're working on it. Look, Marwan can't know we're coming, or he'll take off with the override. Also, we're running out of time. We have about 20 minutes before these plants start to melt down." Ah, Jack always operated best under pressure, and he needed some miracle work from Jack right about now.

"OK. Tell Castle to prep for a low-profile assault. Tell him I'm on my way." Good, that sounded like a dismissal. That meant that Jack wasn't going to investigate how being back at CTU was treating him.

"Copy that." He hung up and turned to pass the assignment off to Sarah. "Get me Castle."

He walked away and found himself with nothing to do. Despite how much was at stake, there really wasn't much for the backup to do. Nothing to distract him from being back at CTU.

Tony let his eyes wander, knowing it was a bad idea. Spots highlighted themselves.

Where he had been standing with Mason when Michelle had first walked into CTU to take his place while he was promoted to Nina Myers's position. He remembered distantly the way he had been forced to harden his resolve desperately to never get involved with another coworker the second he saw her.

The edge of Michelle's old desk, the one she had worked at before he became director, where he had always ended up sitting and telling her more than she should probably have known. The memory that jumped to the forefront was when they had finally given up dancing around each other and she had asked him out.

Sarah called him over saying she had Castle on the phone, interrupting the memories. In a way, he was glad. He got the feeling that he could have stood there going over every moment he and Michelle had had together in this office for days.

It was ridiculous, these constant thoughts of her. They were distracting him and with the possible meltdown of five nuclear power plants, he couldn't afford to be distracted.

Then and there, he decided to forget about Michelle Dessler for the rest of the day at least and he turned to Sarah to begin business again.

Very shortly, he would realize that that notion was doomed.

**6:00:00**

**A/N:** Okay! Sorry that that was moderately shorter than the other chapters, but not much happens in Tony's point of view in this chapter. Besides, I will definitely make it up to you shortly when I post my next chapter up, which is rather fabulous if I do say so myself. (just to prevent confusion, I try to stay a chapter ahead of myself in posting so that there will never be a huge break between chapters. So tonight I just finished chapter six) In case you don't know this season quite so well, that one happens to be the one where Michelle finally comes back!

So, I have decided on the Michelle issue that I'm not going to directly switch points of view between her and Tony. I think this will just stick to being purely Tony as it was in the beginning and if I feel the need to delve into her side of the story, I'll write a companion. Don't get me wrong, I love Michelle, but I don't want the story to get bogged down and confused by two tellings of the same story.

Send me some reviews as congratulations for staying until two to finish it for you guys, writing it while also doing my online french course which sends me popups with questions on them every ten minutes ... interesting to switch off so quickly between french and english. :-) Thanks for reading!


	6. Director of CTU

**A/N:** You'll get a real author's note at the end of this chapter but for now, all I have to say is Michelle's back!

**Disclaimer: **Nothing you recognize is mine.

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 6 – Director of CTU**

**6:00 – 7:00 PM**

**6:08:42**

It was a staff briefing. One of many that he had been to in his career, but he had become used to sitting at the head of the table. Now, instead of focusing on what Edgar had up on the screen, Tony was splitting his attention between the presentation and Erin Driscoll.

Her daughter had died, committed suicide, less than half an hour ago. He hated to be so cold, but he had to be sure she was still up to the task of directing CTU.

"Using the alias Harris Barnes, Marwan worked at McLennan Forster for the last two years as a Senior Engineer. His most recent project there was the design and the development of the override." Tony already knew most of this, seeing as he had stuck with Erin or been in contact with the teams while they had discovered most of it.

Erin asked, "And before that?"

Tony answered the question for Edgar, wanting this meeting over with. He had never particularly liked staff briefings. "Well, here's a timeline we've pieced together; He went to graduate school in England, then worked for several years for a company outside of London. Now, it's not clear whether he was radicalized there or before then, but the one thing we do know is that from the day he arrived in the US, everything he did was about today."

This was all in the files that all of them had access to. Did they honestly need to go over it? Didn't it even seem a little cruel of them to put Erin through this after what had just happened to her daughter? "We don't know yet. We're taking a first pass at his records now. I'm looking into the possibility that he may have used McLennan Forster as a base to recruit his sleeper cells." Sarah elaborated.

This comment made Tony think of some of the things Dina had been telling him about the other cells. He brought it up as a suggestion to Erin. "And that brings up another issue. At the present time, we have over 80 percent of field personnel looking for Marwan. I'm just wondering if we shouldn't divert a part of that manpower trying to root out some of his other cells."

When there was no answer, Tony looked up from the files he was examining. Driscoll was staring into space, looking preoccupied. "Erin?" He asked, breaking her out of her daze.

"I'm sorry Tony, what? What was the question?"

Tony hid his worry as he repeated himself more slowly. "Do you think we should reduce the field load on Marwan?" She still looked blank and Tony felt a wave of sympathy for her. He used his experience as director to answer the question for her. "How about we take some of our people off Marwan but still keep a field of 60 percent looking for him? Would that work?" He prompted.

Driscoll looked relieved that she didn't have to think about it. "Yes, that would work."

She left the room without dismissing them or saying good-bye. Tony felt a mix of emotions between empathy for her loss and frustration that they now had a director who was not going to be any help. She hadn't allocated any of them new tasks and couldn't even focus on the crisis at hand.

Well, someone had to run CTU. He turned to the table that he suddenly found he was at the head of, standing up while everyone else sat. "Edgar, I want you to relocate personnel."

Thankfully, Edgar didn't question his authority. "Based on what?"

"Keep the people who have come in the last six hours working on Marwan. I want our most alert people focused on him." Sure, maybe the people who had been here longer knew more about the situation, but they could be filled in and he needed them to be awake.

"Are we going to ignore what just happened here?" Sarah asked, bringing up the topic he knew they needed to talk about.

"What do you mean?" Edgar asked, obliviously.

Tony clarified it for him. "She's talking about Erin Driscoll." He wasn't sure whether she should be given slack, or simply taken off the team because she wasn't going to be useful. Then again, he wasn't sure that his opinion would count for too much to the Powers that Be that would actually decide.

"She can't focus. She shouldn't be running this place." Sarah said decisively.

"Her daughter died a few minutes ago. Give her a little more time." Edgar replied, much more sympathetic.

Tony could see both their sides and watched them argue just as he had been arguing with himself over the course of the meeting.

"More time? Edgar, since when do we have the luxury of time?" Sarah demanded.

Edgar, however, was still adamant. "She's not stupid, Sarah. She knows what's at stake here."

Tony was just glad Chloe wasn't there. He could just imagine what she would have to say about Driscoll. He decided that it wasn't their decision and he couldn't have his staff … Erin's staff … distracted by the debate. "You're right, Sarah. We don't have the luxury of time. We have work to do, and our work does not include deciding Erin Driscoll's fate."

Sarah was more of one to challenge his authority. "I think we have to tell Secretary Heller."

Tony made his decision in an instant, the way he was used to making decisions. "No we don't. Not yet. Let's get back on it."

He left the room, worrying about the situation all the way out to the main floor, arguing both Sarah and Edgar's sides before finally forcing himself to drop it and concentrate.

**6:16:12**

The situation was brought to his attention again just a short while later when he was briefing Heller and Driscoll on new updates.

"None of our field agents at the Rockland building have been able to pick up a thread on Marwan. It's starting to look like he might have escaped, so I think we have to assume that the first thing he's gonna try to do is activate some of his sleeper cells." Naturally, the thing that Tony had suggested they expend more personnel on.

Erin was staring off into space and it looked like Heller was putting more attention to Erin than he was to Tony's speech. Not that that was remarkable, seeing as that was what Tony was doing too.

"I agree. They'll most likely launch a strike right away; create fear that we're still vulnerable." Great. Did these days never end?

They both turned to look for Driscoll's opinion, but she didn't offer one. Instead she said, "You'll have to excuse me. I'm not feeling very well." She stood up as though to leave the room, but stumbled and nearly fainted.

Tony was up in an instant and caught her with Secretary Heller at his side. They set her down on the couch, worrying and gentle. "Erin, sit down." Heller said.

"Are you alright?" He asked, letting his concern show. He answered the question for himself when he saw how pale she was. He picked up the phone on the desk as Heller poured her a glass of water.

Someone answered on the other side saying, "Clinic."

"Get me medical up here right now. Erin Driscoll needs assistance."

"Yes, sir." Replied the nurse on the line.

Driscoll protested, "No, I'm… fine. I don't need anybody. I just got a little light-headed for a second there." He ignored her words. Now that he had taken care of Erin, he had to worry about how CTU was going to be affected by this. Driscoll had to be replaced, but by who?

Someone from medical entered the room then. The woman walked over to provide whatever help was needed, but Erin dissuaded her. "No, I don't need you here. It's all right. I was dizzy, but I… I feel better." She obviously didn't.

Heller was the one to expound on that. "We'll take a break, get something to eat. Take Ms. Driscoll down and get her some food. I can handle the situation here while you rest. Come on." Tony was the only one who noticed the subtle way Heller was dismissing Erin.

"All right." Erin conceded, "That's probably a good idea."

They both watched her leave the room, worried about her and about CTU. Heller walked to the door and closed it before walking back and avoiding looking at Tony who had stood up. "She's going to have to be relieved of duty." They both knew it, but it sounded harsh when spoken. "Contact Division. Alert them to the situation and tell them to send someone."

Tony knew what Division was like. It could take them hours to send someone. They couldn't afford to waste that time with an ineffective director. The idea sprung upon him as though it had been there all along, waiting to reveal itself when it decided he was most likely to put it in effect.

"I ran this office for two years. I could take over for Erin on a provisional basis." He was a little hesitant at first, but by the end had convinced himself. He was determined.

"Forget for the moment that you technically don't even work here. You've been away quite a while. You're not fluent with the new systems." Tony had not expected Heller to simply let him have the job, but now that the idea of being director again had taken root in his mind, he couldn't just let it go.

"With all due respect, sir, you don't need a programmer. What you need is a decision-maker who knows how to stack up protocols." Now he was practically a different person than he had been for the rest of today. Being Director was something he knew he could do, something he knew he deserved to be given the chance to do.

Heller seemed to be becoming more convinced as well. "And you can do that?"

"Yes sir, I can." Tony said confidently. Being Director of CTU was quite literally the best job he had ever had or ever could have. The chance to be Director again had snuck up on him in the last half hour. Now that he had grabbed it and wasn't about to let go until forced.

Heller looked at him for a moment, evaluating before he replied. "Fine. Effective immediately, you're the Interim Director of CTU Los Angeles under my authority. I still want to contact District; have them send someone on a more permanent basis."

He had to spend a moment savoring that, the first part at least. He had never dreamed when Jack had first called him that he would be Director of CTU again. It felt surreal. Of course, there was that little comment at the end that stung a little, but Division could take hours to send someone over. Maybe he would even direct until the end of today's crisis.

"I understand, sir." He said and left the room hurriedly, assuring that if that smile did spill out, it wouldn't be seen by anyone.

**6:27:51**

Coming down the stairs had, surprisingly, not been all that different than when he had come down them as a temporary agent rather than temporary director. The only real difference was the way he saw everything in a more possessive light. Now, if only for a short time, these people were his staff, this was his agency.

He even got to talk to Jack again as director. It was all very reminiscent of a better time when he had been permanent Director of CTU.

Damage was minimal to this idealistic view when Curtis came over to him. "Tony." The man said, outstretching his arm to shake his hand. Tony complied.

Curtis took his handshake as an invitation to talk, so he started off. "What's going on with Driscoll?" He asked without much preamble or small talk except for that first greeting.

Tony eyed the man. From what he had been told, Agent Manning was second-in-command at CTU, which automatically made him untrustworthy in Tony's eyes. The only seconds Tony had ever seen were Nina, who had betrayed them all, himself, who would have deeply resented a situation like this, and Michelle, who … he had promised to stop thinking about Michelle.

Still, he would figure it out soon anyway, might as well get the animosity out of the way as soon as possible. Once Curtis had decided Tony wasn't going to be moved by mere threats, maybe he would back off.

"She's being sent home, Curtis." The man looked a little shell-shocked.

"Why?"

Now Tony was feeling slightly impatient and eager to be on his way. "She couldn't stay focused and she wasn't getting things done." He could feel Curtis's objections so he continued, "Besides, we weren't about to keep her here when her daughter just died." Maybe Curtis would fall for the guilt-trip.

At least he dropped that exact subject. "So who is running CTU now?" He asked. Of course, the man had to go from one touchy subject to another.

Tony dodged the question expertly. "Heller is calling someone to come in from Division."

However, Manning noticed the dodge. "And who's directing until Division sends someone over?" He sounded accusatory.

It was the tone that sent Tony over the edge. He spun around in the middle of the main floor and spoke to Curtis's face. "Until Division sends over a replacement, I'm directing CTU."

He could barely hide the victory that was so central in his mind. There was something inherently beautiful in that statement. Maybe he had been too confrontational though, because Curtis called Secretary Heller over then.

He decided to let Heller handle Curtis's innate dislike for him. He wondered if it was because he had usurped Curtis's rightful job, or because he was a convicted traitor. Thinking about it that way, he probably wouldn't like himself either.

"Excuse me, sir. Tony just told me you put him in charge of CTU." That wasn't exactly how he'd phrased it, but Tony supposed that it didn't matter. Either Heller would stick by his decision or he shouldn't have made it in the first place. One of the first things a good leader learns is to stick to his decisions. Of course, the second is to change their mind, but never mind that.

"That's correct." Heller said. Good, it seemed as though Heller was willing to fight this one out. Not that Tony assumed that he would do anything like letting him stay after the District Director arrived, but defending him until that happened would be just fine.

"That doesn't make any sense. He just got reinstated and I'm second in command." If Curtis hadn't been so calm and in control, that would have sounded like he was whining.

Heller's response made Tony almost-smile again. "Tony had Erin's job for two years. He has experience running the CTU, you don't." Experience running CTU that no one else had, not just Curtis. It sent another jolt to his mind, _I _can_ do this._

"With all due respect, Mr. Secretary …" Now it was just bothering Tony. He hoped this wouldn't be too much of an issue because Curtis was good at his job. Insubordination from that quarter would be distracting and would prevent them from surviving this day as well as they could.

"Relax, Curtis. It's just provisional until division finds someone else." He had to remind them all of that didn't he?

Curtis still wasn't happy. "For the record, I don't like it." Because they hadn't been able to tell that.

Heller seemed to have decided the conversation was over because he turned to speak to Tony. "What did you hear from Bauer?"

"He just arrived at McLennan Forster a few minute ago. He's going to call into comm if he picks any threads there." His mind was more on Curtis than the information he was reeling off. They all parted without another word, Tony watching Curtis give him one more scathing glance before making his way up to the office that was, briefly, going to be his again.

**6:36:01**

He had watched Driscoll dally over her office, soon to be her ex-office, for quite some time. The pity still raced through him, he was just glad she didn't have to run CTU anymore. Distantly, he was reminded of Michelle who had to run CTU while he was undergoing surgery on his neck.

He wasn't going to think about Michelle.

"Here are all the access codes to CTU and Division." She said, and Tony came back from the realms of memory happily, but with a jolt.

"Thanks." Tony said, trying to balance his joy at being in this office again with his empathy for Driscoll who was leaving it.

"If any of my personal stuff gets in your way," she said, trying to find excuses to linger, "you just have someone box them and put them into storage."

He nodded, feeling awkward. Sure, this woman had replaced himself as director and fired Jack, but right now she was a figure to be pitied. "All right." He acknowledged.

She pulled a picture out that was obscured by one of the objects on her desk. Tony couldn't help but look over at it briefly to see a picture of what he assumed to be Driscoll's daughter. Grief overwhelmed him, wondering what it must be like to lose a child when it had hurt so badly to lose his wife. And he hadn't even lost Michelle to death; he could still see her after all.

"If you need anything, ask Curtis. And if he can't help you, you can always call me at home." Even as he nodded, Tony knew that there was no way he was going to call Driscoll.

"Thanks." He said, not knowing what else to say. She nodded and walked down the stairs, head held high.

Tony watched her as she left CTU, melancholy at her position tainting the joy he would normally have felt at officially becoming Director of CTU again.

It only took him a few minutes to regroup and set the grief aside. Let the sadness be dealt with later, when there is time for it. It was a motto that most people who succeeded at CTU managed to beat into themselves.

And so he made his way down the steps into the main floor, managing to conceal all his grief, joy, and victory as he walked into memories of coming down these very steps to give hundreds of quick briefings.

"Could I have everybody's attention please? By now you all know that I've taken over Erin Driscoll's command on a purely provisional basis. All protocols remain the same, but I want updates from all department heads every 15 minutes. Other than that, I'm just here to support you. So let's get back to work." Experience directed his impromptu speech, reassuring them that he wasn't there to destroy or change anything but assuring them all that he was in control.

As soon as he was done speaking, Tony was on his way over to Edgar's station, already prepping himself on what to say. "Did you hear from Jack?" He asked, gauging the readiness of Edgar's response.

"He and Paul Raines are looking for Marwan's files now." Tony spared a moment to wonder how Jack got himself into these awkward situations. Working the field with his girlfriend's husband as his partner? Oh, well, that was Jack Bauer.

"Any promising leads?" He kept up the questioning.

"Nothing yet." Edgar replied.

He didn't sound too incapacitated. Earlier on, Tony had been reading some reports from this morning and had recognized the death of Edgar's mother. Now, he was just wondering when the other shoe was going to fall and Edgar was going to fall apart.

For now though, he could do with some loyalty out of his Senior Analyst. He had also realized when reading through the files that Edgar had only been made Senior Analyst earlier today when Driscoll had forced Chloe to resign. Something about her insubordination was quoted in the files, but he recognized it as being more of a, 'she sided with Jack, Jack was right,' thing.

Maybe he should call her back in later. Sure, Chloe O'Brien wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but she got the job done better than anyone else he knew. But for now, "All right. Look, Edgar. Before Erin left, she told me the one person I should rely on is you."

And he was sure Erin would have said that, had she been in any state to think about such things. However, he got the response he wanted. "She said that?" Edgar asked, proudly.

"Yes, she did. So if anything comes across your desk you think is important, I want you to bring it to me directly, all right?" Because he simply couldn't trust this staff after all the moles that had gotten into CTU in the past and they weren't the same as his old staff.

"You got it." Edgar assured him.

"All right, thanks." Tony said, leaving with one more ally than he had come with and setting off to check on someone else that could have more information on Jack's exploits in the field.

Even though he was talking to another analyst, years of mediating Adam and Chloe's fights brought Edgar and Curtis's dissenting tones to his ears.

He knew instantly that he had to do something about it. Curtis seemed to be trying to relocate Edgar's attention to a task other than the one Tony had him on. It reeked of subtle insubordination.

"What's more important?" Tony came over asking, pretending to have only heard the last lines of their debate.

"We've got 75 percent of our people on McLennan Forster. I need Edgar to help me find a thread on Marwan." The basic idea wasn't too terrible, but Tony knew that expecting their best analyst to help with a job that was chancy at best was ridiculous and he made the point to Curtis.

"No, we don't have much of a chance to finding anything on Marwan by satellite. Our best chance of picking up a thread is through those files at McLennan Forster. Stay on that." The last part was directed at Edgar, dismissing Curtis.

Curtis was unwilling to be dismissed though. "We can't afford one security grade analyst run over imagery?" He questioned, deliberately undermining Tony's authority.

Tony continued his rejection of Curtis's urge to fight it out, though he was getting more frustrated with each of Curtis's moves against him. "Yeah, one, but not Edgar. Put somebody else on that."

Curtis's last comment was enough to bring Tony to an all out response. "Tony. Are we trying to accomplish the same thing here, or is this about you establishing position?"

He had to scoff at that. "I don't need to establish position, I've already got it." He began. Tony was confident in his abilities in this area and he was going to make Curtis confident in them too. "Now, what do you say we stop wasting time arm-wrestling here? I respect your opinion, but we're going to disagree from time to time and when we do, we're going to do it my way."

This was his office now and he was going to run it without insubordination, no matter who should have been in command after Driscoll left. Curtis looked slightly cowed. "Fine. But I suggest you put more manpower into a data search for Marwan." It was an obvious retreat, though he still didn't seem happy about it.

Tony knew that Curtis was a good agent, and that he certainly needed good agents right now so he resorted to some placating. "All right. Grab a couple of people from image-processing. Work the satellites with them." He still looked annoyed, so Tony ignored the hurt he was causing himself and continued. "Curtis. Don't worry. I'm going to be out of here when this crisis is over, but in the meantime, I want the same thing you do. I want to find Habib Marwan, all right?"

Curtis nodded and Tony let out an internal sigh that that mess was over with. It was then that Edgar chose to become slightly panicky. "What's wrong?" He asked, having the familiar feeling of running from one crisis straight into the next.

"It's strange. All cell and land lines around McLennan Forster are out." Tony frowned, mentally wondering what could cause that to happen. Maybe Jack and Paul would know.

"Can we use their network to message him?" Tony asked, already pulling a chair over to the closest computer.

Edgar's reply worried Tony, "Yes. So far, the computers haven't been affected." Which implied that eventually the computers were going to be affected.

That was enough to get Tony rushing. "All right. Open up a window for me, would you?" He took Edgar's continual tapping away at his keyboard as an answer. A window popped up in front of Tony's screen and he typed into it quickly.

_Jack, are you there? Tony._

He watched the screen nervously as there was an extended wait. It was just as he was dreading the worst that a reply appeared on the screen.

_I'm here. Radio frequency is out._

Tony sighed at the unnecessary information. Why else would they be talking on their computer rather than a phone if the lines were up? He responded quickly, the tiniest bit relieved that they were both still fine.

_Outside your building too._

Almost immediately, Jack was trying to help him figure out what was wrong.

_Fixed radius?_

He deflected the question over to Sarah, loving having a staff to delegate tasks to. "Sarah, do we have any data points outside that building?"

"I'm online with the phone company now. They're getting complaints as far as eight blocks from the McLennan Forster building." He was duly impressed, both by her connection to the phone company and the size of the zone. He sent the information along to Jack.

_No, it's still growing._

Edgar shook his head, saying, "Well, most are still in experimental stages, but is there anything else in could be but an EMP?" Thank god for smart analysts. Everyone else in the area dealing with this mini-crisis realized the truth in Edgar's words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

Tony sent Edgar off to find the source just as he moved to do just that, and then he turned his attention to the screen where he was cheered by Jack's message.

_It's an EMP. We found something and they must be on to us._

It was so perfect to discover things at the same time. To be just that good. He typed in a reply, only half paying attention as he focused on Edgar's search for the source.

_We know. Trying to identify source._

He began searching his mind for other things that needed to be done while his team focused on their own tasks. "Sarah," he asked, thinking of something, "do we have any choppers in that area?"

She checked without question. "Yeah, one." She said.

"If that chopper's in the area when the EMP goes off, it's gonna knock out its whole electrical system and that chopper's going down. Get them out of the area, now." As she moved off to that, he rushed Edgar. "Edgar, where's this coming from?"

"McLennan Forster. I'm trying to get a position now." Then, even as Tony was about to hurry him again, Edgar continued, "Got it. The first floor, room 12."

Tony didn't comment, but relayed the information to Jack, wishing there was more they could do but knowing that this was the life of the analyst. All you could do was send the field agents the information and hope for the best.

_EMP is on first floor. Room 12._

They all set in a tense silence that was filled only with scurrying to and fro to try and get their chopper down before it crashed. Tony realized vaguely that this was very similar to a million other times he had run comm on an operation, but the adrenaline was drowning out his memories for the first time in hours. It felt almost as good to forget again as it did to remember.

"One of our choppers are down." Edgar said urgently.

Tony felt the normal, swift wash of grief for the lives lost before continuing his job. "Send medical in now. Call all field teams outside the perimeter of the blast. We have to find Jack and Paul." With these parting instructions, Tony decided he should bring the new updates to Heller.

There wasn't much more he could do out their without a connection to Jack and Paul, field teams, and medical all on their way, after all. Besides, he ought to stay on Heller's good side. Tony was surprised by the thought when he was done thinking it. Maybe he had really learned something from Chappelle. Or maybe Heller just wasn't such an ass. Ah well.

He walked into the room breezily and in control, with no clue that he was going to walk out of it with his hastily fixed semblance of a life he had managed to fit together these last few hours shattered on the ground again.

As soon as Heller had hung up the phone from the call he was on, Tony began his shortened briefing. "Sir, we have a problem. Someone set of an EMP blast in the McLennan Forster building. We believe Jack and Paul are still inside."

Heller took it in stride. "I assume that's a response to our presence there. Someone does not want us to get a hold of Marwan's files."

That was the same conclusion he had come to at least. "Jack was able to pull some information before the blast, but we don't know whether it was Marwan or somebody else who set it off." It did mean that whatever Jack had now was probably going to be useful though. If it was dangerous to whoever had set off the EMP, it was most assuredly helpful to them.

The adrenaline pumping through his body was sucked out abruptly with Sarah's voice over the intercom. "Excuse me, sir. Ms. Driscoll's replacement arrived. She just passed through security."

It couldn't be over yet. Not now, when it was all starting to really matter to him again. Not when he was beginning to feel things again like he had before prison. He missed Heller's reply to Sarah as he focused on the intercom system to avoid looking at anything else. He didn't want to leave again.

"That was fast." It was all Tony allowed himself to say, fearing what else might drop out of his mouth. Did he dare to hope to be allowed to stay on longer when CTU was back under control? But did he even want to stay and watch his CTU be taken over by some flunky from division?

"We got lucky. Division had someone available with the appropriate qualifications and CTU experience." The part of his mind that was still working logically instead of being preoccupied with loss turned over the CTU experience part. Maybe he knew the person, if they had worked at CTU seeing as he had worked here practically since its beginnings.

The rest of him though knew that the idea of being director again couldn't last and accepted it grudgingly even as he wanted to reject the very thought. "I understand." He replied.

"Tony, I want to thank you for filling in, and I'd like you to stick around," a ray of hope lit up Tony's apparently grim future, "and assist Ms. Dessler."

And it all came crashing down. It was the sheer irony. He couldn't help but reject it, even though he knew subconsciously that it was her.

"I'm sorry, who?" His face twisted in a grimace and his voice was hoarse.

Heller looked up at him, concerned. "Michelle Dessler. Do you know her?"

Conscious thought did not have room to make itself known as he turned around in to see Michelle Dessler walk into CTU. His mind flashed back to the last time he had seen her, coming to deliver him divorce papers. And he could do nothing but take in the figure of his ex-wife, the love of his life who he hadn't seen in six terrible months.

The irony of Heller's question filtered through slowly, and his face twisted in sadistic admiration of the simple irony. Did he know Michelle Dessler? "I used to be married to her."

**7:00:00**

**A/N:** I hope you like that! First, thank you so much to all you kind reviewers out there, please read and review again! It's the encouragement that makes me type faster. For example, I just got a really nice review today that made me determined to finish the next chapter tonight. So here I am at one in the morning after typing 12 pages to finish off the next chapter! Thank you all! Second, I'm sorry that this took a while, but you'd be amazed at how difficult the next chapter was. It's very tense and I have to write it all perfectly becuase this whole section is pretty much my favorite part of the fourth season. Also, it's going to take me at least another week to get the next chapter up because I'm leaving for New York City tomorrow! I'm incredibly excited, but it means I won't get anything up until Saturday. Thanks again for all the beautiful reviews!


	7. Michelle Dessler

**A/N: **Sorry about the whole ... uh, not Saturday thing. We got back really late on Saturday and then on Sunday I ... uh ... slacked off I suppose :-). New York was fabulous in case anyone is interested. It's my favorite city in the world ... well of all the places I've been to in the world. Call me crazy (I know my family and friends do) but I love it. Anyway, thanks so much for all the reviews that were so nice to come back home to and I once again apologize for the delay. As compensation, I present you with my longest chapter yet absolutely full of Michelle :-)!

**Disclaimer:** It isn't mine and I'm making no money off of it. Thanks ever so much to those who did think up this wonderful world for us all to play in.

**Never Without You**

**Chapter 7 – Michelle Dessler**

**7:00 – 8:00 PM**

**7:03:00**

The first thing he noticed about her was how calm and controlled she looked. He knew her too well to be fooled by the appearance, but she seemed to have made everyone else believe.

His first glance at her, with her head held high and walk unfaltering, almost tricked him too. Tricked him into thinking that she had no emotion upon her return to CTU, their own personal hell.

She walked in, eyes straight forward and everything about her professional as her security detail led her over toward the situation room, where he stood with Secretary Heller. Heller seemed to still be puzzling over his reaction to Michelle being the new director, but Tony didn't have time to worry about being fired for personal issues with his new boss. He was a little too focused on his boss herself.

The second change that he noted was her hair. It was straight and perfectly immaculate, like everything else about her. He disliked it immediately. He hated how perfectly broken it made her look. Beautiful to everyone else of course, but she looked so cold to him without her perpetually unmanageable curls. There was more than that though. She simply didn't look like his Michelle.

Which was no doubt the purpose of the change.

It was about then that she reached himself and Secretary Heller. Tony stared at her with horror and awe in his gaze, hating and loving fate at the same time. "Ms Dessler," Heller greeted.

Michelle stared directly at Heller, not sparing a glance for her ex-husband. He would have been amused by the effort if his mind hadn't been in so much turmoil. "Secretary Heller," she replied, shaking his hand. Always professional.

Heller seemed suddenly cautious. "I hear you have already met Tony Almeida." It took those words for Tony to finally and completely see through his former wife's façade. For an instant her barriers dropped and she looked hesitant, nervous, and just as uncertain about all of this as he was. All of that in the instant before their eyes met.

In her gaze, all the times they had fought, when he had gotten drunk or simply not been there, when she had brought him divorce papers, every time they had broken one another's trust, all of it melted away and they were left with what they had had way back at the beginning. Two fractured souls who desperately wanted one another.

Michelle broke it with a professional demeanor that hid her hurt effectively from the rest of the world. "Yes," she said, replying to the Secretary's question but not taking her eyes off Tony. "Agent Almeida." She stretched her hand to bridge the gap between them.

The words shocked him into doing something other than staring at Michelle. They sounded so wrong, wrong in every way. He wanted to mock her, to reply with a sneering, 'Ms. Dessler,' but something came out wrong and his mouth acted without his mind's consent. "Michelle," he savored her name on his tongue.

A flash of something near shame crossed her features and she withdrew the hand that had begged him to pretend nothing had ever happened between them. Too late now. Heller watched them with a hint of nerves in his face. Tony supposed their relationship would make anyone tense.

"Well, let's introduce you to CTU." Heller said, trying to ease some of the tension. And in a way it worked because their gazes dropped and both walked acceptingly out of the hall near the situation room and into the main area of CTU.

He was getting better at reading Michelle very quickly, everything coming back to him, and all it took was a tiny faltered step as she glanced around for him to know that she was hurting just as much as he was.

"For those of you who don't know, this is Michelle Dessler. She'll be taking over as acting Director of CTU effective immediately. Tony, I appreciate you carrying the ball until Michelle got here. Why don't you bring her and everyone else up to speed?" Heller declared to all of CTU. It took Tony a moment to get himself to a professional point where he was fairly sure his voice wasn't going to break like a teenager's.

He began as his eyes fixed on Michelle's. She was watching him again, face and emotions masked liberally. Hiding everything because she had seen already how easily he could break back in. He began speaking only after another glance at Michelle. "Yes, sir. Less than an hour ago we discovered that the man responsible for planning today's attacks, Habib Marwan, has been a long-term employee of McLennan Forster, the third largest Defense Contractor in the country. Now, we know that Marwan's been using the alias Harris Barnes. What we don't know yet is how he managed to evade their security checks. Marwan knows we're looking for him, so he's probably gone dark, but his association with McLennan Forster has become our primary focus. Jack Bauer and Paul Raines went to the company to inspect his computer files. But as they were doing so, an electro-magnetic pulse bomb was detonated, wiping out the company's entire database."

It was surprisingly easy. Briefing all of CTU was one of those directorial skills that had come back to Tony as though they had never left. It didn't even matter that Michelle was watching him the entire time or that one of the main focal points of the brief was Jack Bauer. It came back quickly and, unlike so many other things today, without any awkward memories.

"It also fried every electrical device within an eight-mile radius. Street lights, computers, cars, cell phones – everything." Sarah continued his brief.

Michelle's voice was braced, level and practiced like everything else about her. "Were Jack and Paul able to find anything before detonation?"

"Yeah, but we haven't been able to contact them since the blast. We have to assume whoever detonated the EMP thinks Jack and Paul found something and wants them eliminated." It shouldn't have surprised anyone that their first true conversation in over six months was at and about CTU. The revelation made him want to run away from the entire situation, flinch away from their voices that mingled in this familiar place.

He didn't of course. Tony Almeida would do this job correctly because he held it above all else. _Except maybe Michelle._ A taunting voice squirmed into his head to remind him of committing treason.

But Michelle was asking another question and he didn't want to think about anything anymore. "Have rescue teams been sent into the area?" She asked.

Her questions made him admit grudgingly that she was the best person Division could have sent over. She was competent and knew how to handle things at CTU. Not that it was particularly good for him, but at least his former Second-in-Command knew what she was doing.

"Not yet. Once we've confirmed that the effects have subsided, we'll send two teams in with fully functional electronics. The only problem is, until we find Jack and Paul, they're not going to be able to do much." He replied. It was an implied answer to her implied challenge about his abilities in regards to running CTU again.

Her eyes, which had hardly moved from him throughout the briefing so far, moved so that she was focusing on the rest of CTU. "We want to do everything we can to find Jack Bauer and Paul Raines, but the priority is to retrieve any information they found at McLennan Forster. That's all."

It was as she excused them all that Tony felt the first flashes of pain. Michelle Dessler, the woman of his dreams, the love of his life, was so close again that it hurt. So close and yet … she would never be his again. He would never be happy like he had been for those three years they had spent together ever again. And that realization hurt.

He walked away with only the intention of escaping in his mind. Naturally, Michelle demolished any hope of that when she called after him. "Tony." He halted for a fraction of a second to relish his name on her lips, especially after her harsh, 'Agent Almeida' earlier.

He stopped, but didn't say anything. Michelle stopped in front of him, the space between them practically tangible with tension. She stood with a considerable amount of distance between them, something which only served to highlight all those memories of standing just a little closer than was appropriate before and after they got together.

The contrast hurt. "I need the access codes for CTU and Division." She said, all functional professionalism and hidden pain.

Tony pulled them out, the pain at handing over the cards that pronounced him Director of CTU nearly physical. He hadn't even given this job up when he had been shot in the neck eighteen months ago, he hated giving it up now.

He handed her the cards, feeling a momentary realization that there was no one he would rather hand them off to. It was as she touched the other end of the cards that the rush ended. They held on to the cards for an inappropriate moment, savoring the physical connection more than a divorced couple should have. But it was closer than Tony had gotten in over six months and it was enough to convince him that he couldn't handle much more of this.

"Thank you." She said, quietly. He wondered if she knew how much it hurt to have her as Director. It didn't matter, was his decision on the topic.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked, hating the way his voice came out hoarse.

It was so much a proof of their separate lifestyles over the course of the last year and a half. Tony had given in to his overwhelming emotions and now found himself incapable of Michelle's detachment, whereas Michelle had spent the months teaching herself not to feel the hurt. More importantly, to persuade everyone else she didn't feel the pain. So here she was, too collected and hidden, and there he was, too obviously broken.

"Division's sending over a supplemental list of terrorists who supposedly had contacts with Habib Marwan. I want you to check any names that have been flagged by other agencies, including overseas." It stung, he had to admit. She had just handed him off a job that would have been fit for an entrance level analyst, not for someone who had spent so many years in the upper echelons of CTU.

"Given what's happening right now, it doesn't seem like the best use of my time." He replied passively to the insult. Michelle still took it as a confrontation.

"It has to be done, and I'd like you to do it." She responded, challenging him to fight with her.

"Michelle, Jack and Paul have information that could be vital to ending this crisis. I should be helping to find them." Michelle ignored him and his obvious statement and began walking off. It was because she was walking away that he couldn't stop himself. "Michelle." He grabbed on to her arm and felt alive for the first time in a long time. Just this small touch while they were fighting and he could barely stand to let go.

She whirled around and he knew it was at his touch that she finally snapped. "Last time I saw you," she began, and he knew from her tone that this comment was going to hurt, "you couldn't stay sober long enough to keep a job."

Michelle had known exactly how much pain that comment would cause him and said it anyway. Somehow, that hurt more than even the statement itself. The words were just that despite all the terrible memories they dredged up, but her tone and intention … those cut. "That was six months ago." His voice was rough and face pained.

"This is what I need you to do. If you don't like it, you can resign." Her features remained confident, but Tony could see a flutter of remorse for her stinging words in her eyes.

For a moment, Tony considered what they would do if he did resign. She would continue running CTU without his assistance, whatever little help he could provide. And he would go back to his dump of a house with his girlfriend who wasn't half what Michelle was. He would be unemployed and would probably never see CTU again.

There simply wasn't a choice.

"I'm going to need a security clearance." He said, not overtly declaring his choice, but still making it obvious.

"I'll make sure you get a level three." The words burned because they symbolized the lack of trust she had in him. She didn't trust him enough to give him a security clearance that would allow him to be really involved.

This time, he couldn't hide the break in his voice. "Level three?" He scorned, "I used to have a six."

"Right now, all you need is a three." She replied, efficient and uncaring.

And then she left and he found himself aching more than he had since she left the first time.

**7:15:28**

Tony would never admit that he spent half of his time, in between the various simple tasks required to monitor his search, watching Michelle. He was merely acclimating himself to her presence again. If he intended to be useful, he couldn't be stumbling around emotional and hurt.

But because he was watching his former wife, he noticed right away when Curtis called her over from a discussion with some minor CTU employee. It only took a moment's debate for Tony to convince himself that he ought to be over there.

There was an overwhelming voice in his head though that wanted to do what Michelle had insinuated when she had handed him a level three security clearance and just stay out of the way.

He couldn't though. He was like Jack in that respect, he couldn't do any less than the best he could because he would feel so incredibly guilty afterward. What if he didn't go over and later on something went wrong that he could have fixed?

So he walked over to the crowd around Sarah's computer in time to hear Curtis talking. "We wouldn't have picked it up if it wasn't for its electronic signature."

Tony glanced over at the screen to see a helicopter flying over the dead zone. At least it was enough to prove that the effects of the EMP were no longer affecting things over there.

He studied the screen as Michelle asked a question. "Where's it going?"

"Straight for McLennan Forster." Curtis replied.

"Is it possible that it could be some sort of corporate rescue chopper?" Sarah said, conjecturing and hoping that it wasn't what they all knew it probably was.

Curtis responded negatively, "No, they would have given the police their call sign."

"No, it's on a search and destroy mission. A chopper that size carries 20 men, fully armed." Tony spoke what at least he and Michelle had guessed.

"Who would have sent it?" Sarah wondered.

Tony managed to keep most of the sarcasm out of his voice as he answered the question that seemed obvious to his mind. "Whoever set off the EMP. They're going after Jack and Paul. McLennan Forster's been training mercenaries for years."

He didn't have to look over at Michelle to know she was giving him a masked glare for interceding in her authority. Tony decided not to push his luck by ordering them around. Luckily, Michelle knew what had to be done just as well as he did. "Contact our field teams in the air. Let them know about the intruding chopper."

It was odd to see how well he and Michelle worked together despite everything. Even though he barely had a security clearance high enough to even be here and she had just taken his position, they still worked as though they were one unit in decisions like this.

"You got it." Curtis said, walking off. Tony watched him leave and then turned his gaze to Michelle. Their eyes locked for an instant before Tony broke it off and turned to go back to his workstation, determined to stop looking over at Michelle.

**7:30:58**

Tony had known something might happen ever since he had watched Sarah and Michelle fight earlier. He watched Sarah be escorted out of the building by security without any regret about losing her, only hope that Michelle had made the right decision. Sarah was juggling active protocols and she could hardly stretch that over the few people they had left that could do it.

But that didn't mean he wasn't surprised when he heard Michelle's voice echo over the intercom, "Agent Almeida, please come to station six."

He turned his chair around to see Michelle watching him dubiously. He got up and walked over reluctantly, as though he had something better to do. Nerves didn't affect him, even when he saw Curtis and Edgar looking over at him on top of Michelle's cool gaze. "Yeah?" He asked.

"You'll be working with agents Stiles and Manning for the rest of the day. Edgar, I need you to call up Sarah's protocols, check the configuration, make sure their accurate." For the first time since he had seen Michelle again, a smile nudged the surface layer of his emotions. It wasn't an outright declaration that she still trusted him, but it did mean that Michelle trusted him more than Sarah Gavin.

"Okay," Edgar acquiesced and Tony walked over with Edgar to a computer right by Curtis and Michelle, savoring every step. So it wasn't director, but it was better than the entry-level analyst Michelle had been treating him like.

He started paying attention to Curtis and Michelle's conversation again when he realized that Curtis was updating Michelle. "The zone's still pretty quite, except for emergency vehicle chatter. There is no sign of Jack or Paul. CTU tac teams are standing-by, but the best we can do is to spread them around the perimeter and wait for some sign of Jack."

Tony's mind automatically raced through the plan, checking for any flaws based on what he knew of crisis situations and Jack Bauer. His idea came to him quickly and the fact that Michelle wasn't going to go along with it followed just as easily. He still had to bring it up though. "I think that's a mistake. We should consolidate our teams, be ready to meet strength with strength."

Curtis looked skeptical. "And where would you place them?" He asked.

"At the McLennan Forster building. Jack won't be far from there." His eyes were focused on Michelle's distrusting gaze, "Look, he knows we won't be able to find him without help. He's going to help us by starting a firefight. I know the way he thinks. Now, the hostiles would have to break radio silence when they attack. When they do, we can follow the signal straight to where he is." He hoped that Michelle trusted him enough to do this. He _knew_ Jack. Knew him better than anyone else and that was what he would do because it was the best chance he had.

"He's going to engage an entire team of commandos?" Curtis asked doubting. Tony ignored the man briefly and concentrated on Michelle. She knew Jack too. It wasn't crazy in Jack's mind to attack an entire commando team alone.

"It's the most efficient way to be found, and he's going to expect us to be ready for it." He said, sure of himself.

For a moment, Tony was almost sure that Michelle was going to go along with his expertise. Then she seemed to snap out of it and look to Curtis, her official Second-in-Command. "Stick to the original plan. Cover the perimeter." She ordered.

Even though he should have expected it, the move still stung. "Michelle," he began, imploring her to pay attention to what she knew of Jack and himself.

"If we send all our teams to one location and you're wrong, Jack and Paul won't survive an attack. But if we cover the perimeter, we may have a chance to save them. Do it." He couldn't contest her anymore. At least he knew she wasn't just doing this to spite his judgment. It still hurt that she thought he was wrong after all the time he had spent directing this place, but it didn't matter in the end.

Still, he couldn't squash the voice in the back of his head that said, _But I'm not wrong._

**7:33:39**

Tony was checking up on something, actually proud of himself for evading discussing anything with Michelle since they had disagreed over Jack's situation. He turned around to study the main room, only to see Michelle talking to Audrey. Michelle looked uncomfortable.

He looked down at the binder he was studying just as Michelle flicked her eyes up to look at him.

Tony managed to keep his attention on his work for the longest span he had gone through without looking up at Michelle after watching her talking to Audrey. In fact, he was just about to begin applauding his self-control when Michelle herself approached him.

_Professional._ He whispered the word in his head as he turned to speak to her. "I got those perimeter teams you asked me for ready to go." Only traces of bitterness could be found in his words, nothing obvious that he thought the perimeter teams were a bad idea. Michelle didn't need obvious though.

"Thanks," she said. Tony began paying even more attention to her when he noticed the discomfort in her voice. Nothing that made Michelle uncomfortable when she was talking to him could possibly be good for him. "Tony, look, I just want you to know that just because I overruled you a few minutes ago doesn't mean that I don't value your input."

_Value my input?_ What happened to 'last time I saw you, you couldn't stay sober long enough to keep a job'? It took only a brief memory of her conversation with Audrey to guess some of the basic details. Enough details at least for Tony to let out a scoffing mockery of a laugh and a sneer.

"Don't patronize me, Michelle." But he could see a slight change in Michelle. Rather than her perfect professional persona, she seemed sincere this once.

"I'm not." She replied with just a hint of desperation in her voice. It confused him. "Look, you ran CTU for three years. Anything that you have to say, I will consider seriously." Yeah, like she had considered his idea about the perimeter teams seriously.

He wondered momentarily why she was telling him this. She knew him. Tony Almeida wasn't the type to be shut up by his former wife refusing his ideas once. He decided it didn't matter and chose to ease her tension. "Don't worry. I'm going to tell you what I think whether you want to hear it or not. All right?" It wasn't until he finished his pronouncement that he realized how close they were standing.

Their eyes locked for an instant in a way that was all too familiar and Tony turned away from her, still close but at least the eye contact wasn't there to taunt him anymore.

Michelle seemed caught off guard by the entire conversation. She breathed deeply watched him for a moment before deciding on a pathetic response to his final question. "Good." Her voice was slightly breathy, something that he noted with relish. It was proof that her cold act toward him was just an act.

When she left the awkward situation, Tony managed to hold out all of three seconds. He focused on his computer screen for those three and pretended that talking to her hadn't fazed him as much as it had bothered her. But after those seconds he couldn't resist. He looked up and watched her walk back to whatever she had been doing prior to coming over to his workstation.

Despite all his claims to the contrary, it was a fact that he was changed by her presence and that as he had stood there, too close, his heart rate had sped.

_How are we going to get through this? We're too close and yet much too far apart_

**7:43:49**

It shouldn't have surprised him that shortly thereafter he was interrupted by another woman, though this one wasn't quite as controversial in his mind as Michelle was. "Tony. Michelle just said that you were doing a search on possible ties to Marwan. May I help?" Audrey asked politely.

Well, she certainly was less difficult to work with at the moment than Michelle was, and she seemed to trust him to some extent seeing as she appeared to have spoken to Michelle about him. "Do you have a sign on for the server?" He asked, gesturing towards his computer, which was open to a log in screen.

"In Washington?" She asked, all business.

"Yeah." He replied, "It would save me time if I could use it on the search."

"Yeah," Audrey said, leaning over to tap in a user name and password on his computer. "There you go."

Tony watched, wondering absently if he should bring Michelle up. The upside being that he would probably get more information to sate the curiosity Audrey's conversation with Michelle had brought up, but the downside was that any exchanging of words that contained himself and Michelle was bound to be difficult.

"Thanks," Tony said, leaning over his screen and deciding firmly that he was not going to bring up Michelle. Of course, Audrey ended up foiling his plans.

"Anything else?" She asked, charitably.

Not much of course, but it didn't seem like Audrey had much to do right now and it was always better to keep busy when loved ones were out in the field, something he knew from experience. "Well, it should kick off a few names. You can help me write them down once it's done searching." He offered.

"Okay, great." She said.

However, having her sitting there with him, Tony couldn't resist asking about Michelle. "So … um, did you tell Michelle what happened today?" He knew that something had to have changed some of her perceptions of him.

Audrey looked at him and he was grateful for the lack of pity in her eyes. She replied, if anything, defensively. "I said that Jack called you." That explained some of it. If Michelle knew that Jack trusted him, well, Michelle trusted Jack's judgment. Sometimes even more than he did in fact, all of which would account for the increased respect for his opinion.

"Anything else?" He asked, basing his question on the defensive tone in Audrey's voice. Maybe he had been interrogating suspects for too long.

"Well, I didn't say that you were living with anyone, if that's what you mean." So much for the dancing around topics he and Michelle had been doing. That hadn't been exactly what he had been expecting Audrey to reply with, but couldn't help the tiny slip of relief he felt.

Still, the overwhelming part of him was amused by the answer. He let out another mock laugh and smiled bitterly. "I'm sure she already knows." He began, not doubting that she had checked up on him once or twice after the divorce. The thought had never made him feel quite so guilty though. "And I'm sure she couldn't care less." It was a painful fact, but one that he had to push in his own face before he went and experienced the hurt of losing Michelle again.

Changing the subject seemed like the best tactic. "So how are you and Jack faring with him in the field today?" Fieldwork had always been his and Michelle's downfalls in their relationship at work. They could nearly always handle the directing CTU part, but when necessity called one of them into the field it was always tense.

"It's different. A lot different than Washington." Was her brief answer.

"Yeah, it is different." Tony decided to be blunt with Audrey regarding Jack like she had been to him regarding Michelle. "To tell you the truth," he started, "I couldn't believe it when I heard Jack had taken a desk job at DC."

Audrey's response was defensive, "He said he was happier this way."

The chief thought going through his mind was, _yeah right._ As if Jack Bauer could ever be truly happy without his fieldwork. There was a special breed of people who could simply live in this environment, who thrived in it really. Himself, Michelle, Jack … there were a limited number of people who could hardly live without the thrills this life provided.

His reply was curious. "Well, you've gotten a chance to see him in both worlds today. Do you think he'll go back to wearing a suit?"

It was in no way unexpected that she was shocked by the very question. "After the hell Jack's been through today, you think he'll want to come back to this?" She was incredulous and unbelieving.

Tony wondered why Jack never picked out women who understood his lifestyle. Michelle and he … part of the reason why they had been so perfect was because they always understood the job. Always knew that it was going to be a huge part of their lives. That their honeymoon would be interrupted by an emergency crisis situation and overnights would mean early wake-ups by Chappelle. That … god he missed her, missed this.

His answer was quiet, indicative of all the thoughts that had been running through his head. "Some people are more comfortable in hell." It was the only way he could explain why it was so amazing to be back at CTU, a place he considered hell. It was why a part of him had been waiting for Jack to call him back in to this world ever since he had left it. It was why he had proposed here after the romantic dinner he had planned had been ruined by another attempt to destroy America. Because this place, this hellish place, was more of a home than anywhere else.

Audrey seemed to pick up on at least some of his thoughts. "Are you talking about Jack or yourself?"

"I think we found them. See all those signals on the ground? Each one's a radio, all using the same frequency." Edgar's voice broke the sudden tension between them. They both walked over to Edgar's computer to be met by Michelle and Curtis.

For once, even the small victory he felt at being right wasn't enough. "That's because they're planning an attack." He said impatient. No one contested him.

"They converge on their location on Flower and Third, about a quarter mile from McLennan Forster." Edgar continued informing them

Curtis appeared shocked. "You were right." He said to Tony, "He's actually drawing them in."

It was automatic for his eyes to find Michelle's who had looked up at him too. His eyes yelled out what he didn't say, _I told you so._ And she broke the gaze only after a long moment when he could see the apology in her eyes.

There was a flurry of motion afterwards as Michelle handed out orders. "Curtis, call up the perimeter teams. I want them there as fast as possible." But there wasn't much more they could do but sit and watch waiting for the teams to get there.

Curtis came back over a short while after the gunshots started. They all watched the gunfight on Edgar's screen as Audrey asked tensely, "How long until our teams get there?"

"At least five or six minutes." He replied. Tony looked at Audrey, empathizing with the pain she must be going through right now and feeling the same guilt that they all felt.

It was minutes later, but not enough time for the perimeter teams to have reached Jack and Paul, that Edgar said, "The gunfire stopped."

Curtis came around to look at the screen more closely. "Are the teams on site?" He asked, but Edgar shook his head in a negative reply.

"McLennan Forster commandos could have taken over the location." Curtis said, assessing the situation as though Jack Bauer was just another field agent. Tony watched them all, wondering if anyone other than Michelle had allowed the notion that Jack might have won.

"Which means they might have taken the information back from Jack and Paul." Michelle said. Tony was grateful for the 'might.' Because Michelle knew as well as he did that with Jack Bauer, nothing was certain.

"I'll get in touch with our teams." Curtis responded.

Michelle, Tony knew, was delegated the wonderful task of alerting their superiors. _At least Chappelle was gone_, Tony immediately felt guilty for the thought. "I'll update division." She said.

"If McLennan Forster won the firefight, what about Jack and Paul?" Audrey asked Tony desperately.

"There's no way to tell." He replied, deciding that was kinder than just outright telling her what they both knew. If McLennan Forster had won, Jack and Paul were probably dead.

**7:52:27**

Castle's voice rung through the speakerphone as Tony, Michelle, Curtis, Edgar, and Audrey turned alertly to the noise that told them the perimeter teams were finally there. "CTU, this is Castle. We're about to engage." Castle's voice was slightly crackly, but Tony had communicated over worse static.

"How many hostiles have been sighted?" Curtis asked.

"Six down outside, unknown number inside." Castle answered sounding too efficient and uncaring about Jack and Paul's lives for Tony's peace of mind.

So he swung the speaker consul around and spoke to Lee himself, "Lee, it's Tony. Are Jack and Paul still alive?"

"Unknown at this point."

"All right, look, the hostiles cannot be allowed to leave the area with the information Jack took from McLennan Forster, do you understand?" The fact was that no matter how much he hoped Jack was going to make it out of this situation, his information was more important.

"We'll do the best we can." Castle said, sounding a little edgy about Tony's intensity.

Tony wasn't satisfied with that though. "No, Lee, listen to me." He demanded, "Failure is not an option. That information is what this whole thing's about." And if they didn't get it, all of this would be for nothing and they would lose their only lead.

It was only after Castle said, "Roger that," that Tony realized that what he had just done could be considered insubordination. He just hoped she wouldn't pull a Chappelle on him and punish him for doing something that could have helped the mission.

**7:53:14**

Audrey and he watched as Curtis answered a call that could only have been Castle. Finally, he turned to them and updated them on the situation. "Jack's okay. The team secured the store."

Tony let out a breath of relief that he hadn't known he had been holding in and heard Audrey do the same to his side. "What about Paul?" She asked, anxious again for a second.

"Yeah, he's with him." Curtis reassured.

Tony focused back on the objective now that they knew everyone was all right. "Did Jack get anything from McLennan Forster?"

"We don't know yet. They're still cleaning up the area." Tony left as soon as Curtis was finished with that part of his talking. After Michelle had fired Sarah, there was no real Second-in-Command here besides Curtis who was preoccupied with the field teams. So he saw that it fell to him to update Michelle.

Walking up those stairs to the director's office didn't feel nearly as odd now that he had done it so many times today. What was strange was seeing Michelle in his office. Of course, she had taken over for him before, but not while he was right here fully functional.

He came into the room, quickly hiding all traces of discontent. He watched her for a moment as she hung up the phone and looked at him expectantly.

"Jack and Paul are okay." He said used to all of this being the other way around, her updating him.

"What about the information?" She asked, concentrating on the goal although he could tell she was relieved.

"We don't know if Jack has it yet, but even if he does, we don't know that it's going to bring us closer to finding Marwan." He said rather pessimistically.

Michelle frowned and replied, "Well, we know that McLennan Forster's involved. That should yield some leads."

Tony was still unsure, and another thought was growing on him. "Well, that's going to have to be worked up here because McLennan Forster's computers were all knocked up by the EMP."

He should have been honored by her show of trust when she said, "You want to head that up?" But instead he was consumed by uncertainty again. It was cemented by how secure Michelle looked here in his office, apparently unaffected by his presence at all.

And he was torn apart by just being near her. "No, you know what? You should probably let Curtis handle that." He wasn't planning on making Curtis dislike him anymore than he already did.

"All right, I will." She said. There was an awkward silence in the room after they were done talking business. Both knew they needed to talk and neither wanted to be part of the conversation they had to have. Michelle finally seemed to reach a compromise because she began speaking. "I shouldn't have said that earlier about your drinking. That was out of line. I'm sorry."

_But accurate …_ a small voice in his head teased. Tony could barely restrain a wince and couldn't keep the words from pouring out. "You don't owe me an apology. My life right now… let's just say that I've been better and, uh… quite frankly, seeing you here today has only made things worse."

Michelle looked mildly hurt by his words, but Tony knew they were correct. Seeing her again was a reminder of what he could never have again. A reminder of lost perfection.

All of today had been a reminder of lost perfection. So Tony continued, "Uh… Look, I'm going to leave, get out of here and let you do your job, all right?"

He reached for the door handle, entirely intending to leave again forever when Michelle called out to him, "No!" There was more than a hint of desperation in her voice and it was enough to make Tony look back at her, hoping that he hadn't imagined an echo of his pain in her voice.

"We can't afford to lose you. Not today." She said, trying to rationalize calling him back so urgently.

Tony searched her eyes for honesty. "You're sure?" He asked, begging her to say yes with his eyes.

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure." She replied, their eyes locked and silent promises to talk were exchanged without words.

"All right." Tony said and left the office. But now he had no intention of leaving CTU. Because when she had told him that he couldn't leave, not today, he had understood what she was really trying to say.

_I can't afford to lose you. Not again._

**8:00:00**

**A/N:** I really like that ending. In fact, I really like this whole episode. I think it may be one of my favorites (meaning the entire episode because I really like the one in season two when they have their first kiss, but the whole Jack being tortured thing that's going on at the same time sort of ruins it and I also like the one in season three when Michelle tells Tony she doesn't have the virus, but that gets a little screwed by the ending where she gets kidnapped and Tony commits treason and ... I'm going to stop now) Reviews are my only payment and they'll help me get the next chapter up faster!


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